Jedis use taser guns to shoot down the Queen's speech

And the spoof that spoofed you all

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The UK justice system came under fire again when a dating site hacker nimbly swerved a spell in chokey.


Non custodial sentence? What kind of signal is that sending out then? He hacks into profiles in a dating site, tries to extort the site owner, and also authored 2 versions of a Virus (the initial version too it looks like) and basically gets off with it? WTF?

Overcrowded prisons I guess will be the answer eh, gee good answer.

And no mention of a court order banning him from using PCs.....

More good work from the UK justice system, while they release illegal alien killers back into society, they wont even jail people who are potential threats to business and home users alike. Not to mention the back-patting of the police, yeah great job guys, the hacker never encrypted his work, so you get the credit.

Woo what a world.

Next up, your views on Warwick University's premature email upgrade - trading in Groupwise for Microsoft Exchange.

That story is uncannily similar to a classic humorous internet text. I don't know if your familiar with the text, but the short synopsis is that an archaic DEC is being supported by a bank next to more modern (c. 1994) IBM machines, which are on a UPS with backup generator, while the DEC is not afforded the luxury. The power goes out, and a failure in the backup generator destroys the IBM machines as the power comes back. I suppose in this story, the ancient GroupWare box is the one that bites the big one, but I'm sure someone at The Reg may enjoy updating the story to fit. :)

Link: http://www.kgb.com/dcl/199411.txt

TJ Harrell

I'm disappointed that the people most aware of the the technical aspects of the problem were not able to provide their input. The problem was obviously unrelated to GroupWise, but a massive power failure. The only person quoted (anonymously, I might add) was someone that appeared to have his own personal reasons to slam the product, probably because he was required to use the University standard mail product.

Most Exchange migrations that I have been associated with or aware of are not as a result of any technical or product capability issues,but because of the ability of an individual within an organization to hijack hundreds of thousands of dollars in budget to get their OutLook client at work like they do at home. Exchange has been proven time and again to be more expensive and less reliable than Exchange, so the idea that users have to be "rescued" from GroupWise by an Exchange system is ludicrous.


They're really hacked off with Groupwise? Wait 'til they discover the joys of Exchange, officially the world's worst email service. Thrill! as it bogs down every time you send a big email. Shock! as hundreds of vulnerabilities allow every skiddie on campus to knock the service over. Gasp! as a couple of thousand user SMTP server brings a huge dual core 4 Gbyte machine to its knees. I'm not normally a zealot in such things, but anyone who runs, of all things, a university mail service on Windows needs their head examining. -J.

Sticking with software Allchin backed away from his claims of an oh-so-secure Vista, causing some of you to laugh...

"Most users will use some form of anti-virus software, and that will be appropriate for their scenarios,"

...so let me get this right - MS are releasing a new version of their "OS" (I use the term in the loosest possible sense) and they are admitting that it contains exploitable security vulnerabilities that require the user to purchase additional software in order to make it viable for use in a networked environment?

....errr.... and people still buy this stuff??? errr... right!

By the way, that "ASLR" you talked of sounds somewhat like a very similar feature of OpenBSD, an OS that DOESN'T require the use of anti-visus / anti-spyware / anti-whatever software in order to use it effectively.

...And others to just rubbish the anti-virus industry...

I've used WFWG3.11, NT3.51, NT4.0, Win 95, Win 98 and Win XP at home and wife kids too since 1994 online. We never use AV products. We have never had a virus.

(Skeptics may ask how do I know? I check for extra processes, unusual disk or Internet activity, in the past via proxy server logs, also now we check occasionally with Silent Runners).

The AV industry is a scam. What is needed is education. Email servers that block any executable (like my home email server does) and Education. Things like double extension file names are likely evil. Or Zip files with VERY long spaces in name..

Anyone can dispense with adictive AV products that often give a false sense of security and often rdeuce reliability of PC.

They can do products that are effective and don't need updates but won't.

As an IT professional most of the PCs I have manually removed malware from actually had AV and/or Firewall products.

We don't use any firewall products on PC either. We used to use a Proxy and now use a NAT with very basic firewall. We never used Outlook or used default settings in email clients..

Using an EXTERNAL firewall in my experience stops about 90% of non-user click exploits. Switching off all un-needed services makes a big difference too.

I've also run IIS online with 1 DOS for 3 years up to 2004. Again combination of Firewall and removing all IIS services not needed.

A USwitch survey said punters are suffering in the broadband price war. And suffering you certainly are:


When I read your piece on "free broadband" I did a double take at, "overall levels of satisfaction have sunk 9 per cent..." and went back to look for the missing "to" between "sunk" and "9".

Seeking to save myself a shedload of cash on my monthly broadband connection charges, I was recently persuaded to switch to the Orange "free broadband service". It wasn't really free, as I had to upgrade my mobile contract to get it, and it sure wasn't a service. After a fortnight of applying the "repair" option up to 60 times a day, of almost hourly re-booting, re-installing, spending huge amounts of time and cash on the Orange "helplines", I decided the "service" wasn't worth the pain any longer.

That's when I discovered Orange had taken over much of my registry, and it cost me over £50 to get their stuff off my laptop to allow me to revert to my full cost BB provider. "Free" broadband "service" from Orange"? They should be prosecuted under the trades description act.

George Edwards

Back to the Queen's speech, this time an analysis after the event, which some of you just didn't get:


I have trouble understanding what your article is about.

The use of sarcasm and understatements makes it unintelligible to someone who isn't up to date with the story in the first place.

yours, Ferrie Bank

"This journalist thinks that's a fine example of the pot calling the kettle black", which is kinda funny in itself given how journalists have such a fine reputation for being trustworthy highly scrupulous!

(Meaning no disrespect to the fine articles produced by your goodself)

Hmmmm, this was the point...no?

Right, we're almost there. Let's finish with some fun stuff. And what's more fun than our good friend Bill accusing security rivals of trying to 'castrate' Vista?

Geldings (castrated male horses) are much better work horses than stallions. Far more manageable.


perhaps Bill Gates believes that Defender and Kernel Protection are "the bollocks", i.e the bee's knees, of Vista.

I see a whole lot of punnery in the coming weeks over that one...



Punnery, as requested, to follow next week. Go nuts (sorry) and have a good weekend. ®

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