Feeds

Peaceniks work up to Global Orgasm

Mass coming together on 22 December

Security for virtualized datacentres

NSFW If you've got a few minutes to spare on 22 December, and fancy a quick shag for the advancement of World peace and harmony, then get yourself down to Global Orgasm - a mass coming-together of.. well, no, a mass coming together sums it up quite nicely.

The plan is pretty simple: to "effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy" during the "First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace".

Here's more:

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

The organisers don't go into practical specifics, except to say you can climax "at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose".

Fair enough, although those us who are working on the Winter Solstice will presumably have to nip to the loos at lunchtime and crack one off with a quick "I'll be back in ten minutes - I'm just off to inject some positive input into the Earth's energy field." Just hope your boss hasn't read this article, however, or the reply will likely be: "Yes, me and the wife had a twenty-minute mindful intention session this morning. Enjoy."

Of course, there's some science behind the big bang, as Global Orgasm is kind enough to explain:

The Global Consciousness Project, Princeton University, runs a network of Random Event Generators (REGs) around the world, which record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.

The Zero Point Field or Quantum Field surrounds and is part of everything in the universe. It can be affected by human consciousness, as can be seen when simple observation of a subatomic particle changes the particle's state.

We hope that a huge influx of physical, mental and spiritual energy with conscious peaceful intent will not only show up on Princeton's REGs, but will have profound positive effects that will change the violent state of the human world.

The only problem here is who will exactly be monitoring the REGs while the rest of the planet is shagging itself senseless. Pity the poor bloke from Princeton sitting at his monitor trying to measure the changes in the Earth's Zero Point Field while his semi-clad missus is demanding some high-energy orgasmic action. ®

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!
Redmond sporran metrics get one in the ten ring
Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE
Bad news for tech-addicted fanbois behind the wheel
Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please
'Platform for piracy' must be punished, or it'll kill us in FIVE YEARS
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Found inside ISIS terror chap's laptop: CELINE DION tunes
REPORT: Stash of terrorist material found in Syria Dell box
Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought
Losses of more than $2 BILLION loom over troubled Japanese corp
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.