Feeds

Peaceniks work up to Global Orgasm

Mass coming together on 22 December

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

NSFW If you've got a few minutes to spare on 22 December, and fancy a quick shag for the advancement of World peace and harmony, then get yourself down to Global Orgasm - a mass coming-together of.. well, no, a mass coming together sums it up quite nicely.

The plan is pretty simple: to "effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy" during the "First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace".

Here's more:

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

The organisers don't go into practical specifics, except to say you can climax "at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose".

Fair enough, although those us who are working on the Winter Solstice will presumably have to nip to the loos at lunchtime and crack one off with a quick "I'll be back in ten minutes - I'm just off to inject some positive input into the Earth's energy field." Just hope your boss hasn't read this article, however, or the reply will likely be: "Yes, me and the wife had a twenty-minute mindful intention session this morning. Enjoy."

Of course, there's some science behind the big bang, as Global Orgasm is kind enough to explain:

The Global Consciousness Project, Princeton University, runs a network of Random Event Generators (REGs) around the world, which record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.

The Zero Point Field or Quantum Field surrounds and is part of everything in the universe. It can be affected by human consciousness, as can be seen when simple observation of a subatomic particle changes the particle's state.

We hope that a huge influx of physical, mental and spiritual energy with conscious peaceful intent will not only show up on Princeton's REGs, but will have profound positive effects that will change the violent state of the human world.

The only problem here is who will exactly be monitoring the REGs while the rest of the planet is shagging itself senseless. Pity the poor bloke from Princeton sitting at his monitor trying to measure the changes in the Earth's Zero Point Field while his semi-clad missus is demanding some high-energy orgasmic action. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results
Spaffing copyrighted stuff over the web? No search ranking for you
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores
The, er, Beats go on after noise-cancelling spat
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.