Those among you looking for some top tips on how to survive an air crash could do worse than consult the Beeb's handy guide.

It's all good, common-sense stuff: adopt the brace position; count the seat rows from your seating position to the exit; and make sure you know how to undo your seatbelt.

In the event that you don't walk away from the carnage, though, the BBC can also offer grieving relatives a few pointers:

For the record, the song currently most likely to be coming out of the crematorium's speakers is James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover. As one wag comments on the BBC website: "The thought of James Blunt being played at my funeral has made me redouble my efforts to find the elixir of eternal life." ®

Bootnote

Ta very much to Andrew Williamson for the tip-off.

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