Feeds

Council contains killer pear tree menace

Kids protected from 1lb fruit attack

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Worcester council has moved with lightning speed to protect citizens from killer pear trees, The Sun reports.

Officials cordoned off the pair of 30-ft arboreal assassins - which have stood in Cripplegate Park for 50 years - after "receiving a complaint the trees are a health hazard".

The trees bear the black pear which is the symbol of Worcestershire. The fruit can reach 1lb, and to ensure that nobody is in any doubt as to their potentially fatal weight, the council also attached sign to the tress reading "Warning, pears falling!".

Local reaction was predictable. Barry Cox, 40, told The Sun: "This is a crazy waste of time and money. It seems people aren't credited with common sense any more. Next thing they will be issuing people with hard hats before they enter the park."

Helen Crump, 32, weighed in with: "It's the nanny state. The world has gone mad. I've never heard of anyone killed by a falling pear."

However, the council's parks and cemeteries manager Ian Yates defended: "If we felled the trees or closed the park, I'd understand the resentment - but this is an adequate response. There are some sizeable pears and not everyone is going to be passing thinking a pear might fall on them, especially children. These signs divert people away from the danger."

It's not just kids' welfare which is keeping the council awake at night, though. Explaining the very real danger of pear-flavoured litigation, Yates added: "This is a lot cheaper than having a no-win, no-fee solicitor taking us to court." ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Bladerunner sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it
Go ahead, you're all clear, kid... Sorry, wrong film
Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then
It CANNA do it, captain.They DON'T have the POWER!
Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix
Everyone else in Europe compensates us - why can't you?
I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations
Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox!
Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME!
Now my lawyers have bailed 'cos I'm 'OFFICIALLY' BROKE
Forget Hillary, HP's ex CARLY FIORINA 'wants to be next US Prez'
Former CEO has political ambitions again, according to Washington DC sources
prev story

Whitepapers

10 ways wire data helps conquer IT complexity
IT teams can automatically detect problems across the IT environment, spot data theft, select unique pieces of transaction payloads to send to a data source, and more.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence
Download Choosing a Cloud Hosting Provider with Confidence to learn more about cloud computing - the new opportunities and new security challenges.