Feeds

Council contains killer pear tree menace

Kids protected from 1lb fruit attack

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications

Worcester council has moved with lightning speed to protect citizens from killer pear trees, The Sun reports.

Officials cordoned off the pair of 30-ft arboreal assassins - which have stood in Cripplegate Park for 50 years - after "receiving a complaint the trees are a health hazard".

The trees bear the black pear which is the symbol of Worcestershire. The fruit can reach 1lb, and to ensure that nobody is in any doubt as to their potentially fatal weight, the council also attached sign to the tress reading "Warning, pears falling!".

Local reaction was predictable. Barry Cox, 40, told The Sun: "This is a crazy waste of time and money. It seems people aren't credited with common sense any more. Next thing they will be issuing people with hard hats before they enter the park."

Helen Crump, 32, weighed in with: "It's the nanny state. The world has gone mad. I've never heard of anyone killed by a falling pear."

However, the council's parks and cemeteries manager Ian Yates defended: "If we felled the trees or closed the park, I'd understand the resentment - but this is an adequate response. There are some sizeable pears and not everyone is going to be passing thinking a pear might fall on them, especially children. These signs divert people away from the danger."

It's not just kids' welfare which is keeping the council awake at night, though. Explaining the very real danger of pear-flavoured litigation, Yates added: "This is a lot cheaper than having a no-win, no-fee solicitor taking us to court." ®

Using blade systems to cut costs and sharpen efficiencies

More from The Register

next story
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Nadella: Apps must run on ALL WINDOWS – PCs, slabs and mobes
Phone egg, meet desktop chicken - your mother
HP, Microsoft prove it again: Big Business doesn't create jobs
SMEs get lip service - what they need is dinner at the Club
White? Male? You work in tech? Let us guess ... Twitter? We KNEW it!
Grim diversity numbers dumped alongside Facebook earnings
ITC: Seagate and LSI can infringe Realtek patents because Realtek isn't in the US
Land of the (get off scot) free, when it's a foreign owner
Dude, you're getting a Dell – with BITCOIN: IT giant slurps cryptocash
1. Buy PC with Bitcoin. 2. Mine more coins. 3. Goto step 1
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.