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UK truck dealer pitches to 'pink van man'

Website waggery from Grays Truck & Van

Application security programs and practises

A light round of applause is in order this morning for wags down at Grays Truck & Van of Guildford for injecting a bit of levity into white van sales.

The company's website is a pretty bog-standard affair, but worth a visit for the content of its scrolling text marquee:

Gray's Trucks

You get the idea. Here's the full text:

Test Drive the All New Ford Transit with it's new confident look and contemporary design (very dashing!), dash mounted gearshift (somewhere for the ladies to hang their handbags), ABS, EBD, BERK, MUPIT, & DONK now fitted as standard, super doooooper NEW and exciting Euro IV Common Rail Turbo Diesel engines (loads of smiles and loads of miles to the gallon), fab range of bright new colours (go on have a pink one, you know you want to, it will make a change from being a "white van man"), more standard equipment than ever before, (so you wont need) more factory options than ever before (so you can pimp your ride if you want), car like feel and quality (except its a great big van), class leading interior stowage area (think of the appeal it will have to all those asylum seekers trying to cadge a lift when you return from your next booze run to France), Call Fred or Steve on 01483 571012 to book your test drive and get a free entry to our fantabulous and fandabidozi prize draw for a (DavidDavid) sorry "TomTom" satellite navigation system (perfect for any berk who cannot read a map) - Only joking - it really is a great van - Ford - Feel the difference - opinions expressed in this text are not necessarily those of Grays Truck and Van Management all rights reserved, terms and conditions probably apply, your home is subject to repossession if you fail to keep up payments - Don’t tell my boss about this! Just buy a bloody van!!!!

Good show. A pink Transit packed with continental lager and asylum seekers would indeed be "fandabidozi". ®

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