Feeds

UK truck dealer pitches to 'pink van man'

Website waggery from Grays Truck & Van

New hybrid storage solutions

A light round of applause is in order this morning for wags down at Grays Truck & Van of Guildford for injecting a bit of levity into white van sales.

The company's website is a pretty bog-standard affair, but worth a visit for the content of its scrolling text marquee:

Gray's Trucks

You get the idea. Here's the full text:

Test Drive the All New Ford Transit with it's new confident look and contemporary design (very dashing!), dash mounted gearshift (somewhere for the ladies to hang their handbags), ABS, EBD, BERK, MUPIT, & DONK now fitted as standard, super doooooper NEW and exciting Euro IV Common Rail Turbo Diesel engines (loads of smiles and loads of miles to the gallon), fab range of bright new colours (go on have a pink one, you know you want to, it will make a change from being a "white van man"), more standard equipment than ever before, (so you wont need) more factory options than ever before (so you can pimp your ride if you want), car like feel and quality (except its a great big van), class leading interior stowage area (think of the appeal it will have to all those asylum seekers trying to cadge a lift when you return from your next booze run to France), Call Fred or Steve on 01483 571012 to book your test drive and get a free entry to our fantabulous and fandabidozi prize draw for a (DavidDavid) sorry "TomTom" satellite navigation system (perfect for any berk who cannot read a map) - Only joking - it really is a great van - Ford - Feel the difference - opinions expressed in this text are not necessarily those of Grays Truck and Van Management all rights reserved, terms and conditions probably apply, your home is subject to repossession if you fail to keep up payments - Don’t tell my boss about this! Just buy a bloody van!!!!

Good show. A pink Transit packed with continental lager and asylum seekers would indeed be "fandabidozi". ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!
Redmond sporran metrics get one in the ten ring
Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE
Bad news for tech-addicted fanbois behind the wheel
Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please
'Platform for piracy' must be punished, or it'll kill us in FIVE YEARS
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought
Losses of more than $2 BILLION loom over troubled Japanese corp
Radio hams can encrypt, in emergencies, says Ofcom
Consultation promises new spectrum and hints at relaxed licence conditions
Why Oracle CEO Larry Ellison had to go ... Except he hasn't
Silicon Valley's veteran seadog in piratical Putin impression
Big Content Australia just blew a big hole in its credibility
AHEDA's research on average content prices did not expose methodology, so appears less than rigourous
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.