Feeds

UK truck dealer pitches to 'pink van man'

Website waggery from Grays Truck & Van

Remote control for virtualized desktops

A light round of applause is in order this morning for wags down at Grays Truck & Van of Guildford for injecting a bit of levity into white van sales.

The company's website is a pretty bog-standard affair, but worth a visit for the content of its scrolling text marquee:

Gray's Trucks

You get the idea. Here's the full text:

Test Drive the All New Ford Transit with it's new confident look and contemporary design (very dashing!), dash mounted gearshift (somewhere for the ladies to hang their handbags), ABS, EBD, BERK, MUPIT, & DONK now fitted as standard, super doooooper NEW and exciting Euro IV Common Rail Turbo Diesel engines (loads of smiles and loads of miles to the gallon), fab range of bright new colours (go on have a pink one, you know you want to, it will make a change from being a "white van man"), more standard equipment than ever before, (so you wont need) more factory options than ever before (so you can pimp your ride if you want), car like feel and quality (except its a great big van), class leading interior stowage area (think of the appeal it will have to all those asylum seekers trying to cadge a lift when you return from your next booze run to France), Call Fred or Steve on 01483 571012 to book your test drive and get a free entry to our fantabulous and fandabidozi prize draw for a (DavidDavid) sorry "TomTom" satellite navigation system (perfect for any berk who cannot read a map) - Only joking - it really is a great van - Ford - Feel the difference - opinions expressed in this text are not necessarily those of Grays Truck and Van Management all rights reserved, terms and conditions probably apply, your home is subject to repossession if you fail to keep up payments - Don’t tell my boss about this! Just buy a bloody van!!!!

Good show. A pink Transit packed with continental lager and asylum seekers would indeed be "fandabidozi". ®

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
Big Content outs piracy hotbeds: São Paulo, Beijing ... TORONTO?
MPAA calls Canadians a bunch of bootlegging movie thieves
Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec
You need an emotional connection, says touchy-feely MD... We can do that
YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results
Spaffing copyrighted stuff over the web? No search ranking for you
Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET
Cupertino revenue hit by cheapo downloads, says report
Hungary's internet tax cannot be allowed to set a precedent, says EC
More protests planned against giga-tariff for Tuesday evening
US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'
Netizens allegedly duped into paying for bogus tech advice
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.