Feeds

UK truck dealer pitches to 'pink van man'

Website waggery from Grays Truck & Van

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

A light round of applause is in order this morning for wags down at Grays Truck & Van of Guildford for injecting a bit of levity into white van sales.

The company's website is a pretty bog-standard affair, but worth a visit for the content of its scrolling text marquee:

Gray's Trucks

You get the idea. Here's the full text:

Test Drive the All New Ford Transit with it's new confident look and contemporary design (very dashing!), dash mounted gearshift (somewhere for the ladies to hang their handbags), ABS, EBD, BERK, MUPIT, & DONK now fitted as standard, super doooooper NEW and exciting Euro IV Common Rail Turbo Diesel engines (loads of smiles and loads of miles to the gallon), fab range of bright new colours (go on have a pink one, you know you want to, it will make a change from being a "white van man"), more standard equipment than ever before, (so you wont need) more factory options than ever before (so you can pimp your ride if you want), car like feel and quality (except its a great big van), class leading interior stowage area (think of the appeal it will have to all those asylum seekers trying to cadge a lift when you return from your next booze run to France), Call Fred or Steve on 01483 571012 to book your test drive and get a free entry to our fantabulous and fandabidozi prize draw for a (DavidDavid) sorry "TomTom" satellite navigation system (perfect for any berk who cannot read a map) - Only joking - it really is a great van - Ford - Feel the difference - opinions expressed in this text are not necessarily those of Grays Truck and Van Management all rights reserved, terms and conditions probably apply, your home is subject to repossession if you fail to keep up payments - Don’t tell my boss about this! Just buy a bloody van!!!!

Good show. A pink Transit packed with continental lager and asylum seekers would indeed be "fandabidozi". ®

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate
Some assignments, even the Bongster decline must
Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather
Founder (and internet passport fan) now says privacy is precious
TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit
Chocolate Factory hits back at firm for suing customers
Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies
You can try turning them off and on again
Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'
I have to know. I have to find out what happened to my life
Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015
Sources: time to put in plenty of clock-watching for' iWatch
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?