Feeds

US Marine unearths nukes, cocaine and $25m

Iraq paydirt for the Lads from Lagos

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

The Lads from Lagos have been a little too quiet of late, or at least that part of their operation dedicated to composing new and provocative variations on the 419 email seems to have been on extended vacation.

We're glad, then, to offer you this delightful ditty, hot from the inbox:

From: transact0001@terra.es [mailto:transact0001@terra.es]
Sent: 04 September 2006 14:09
Subject: BUSINESS ASSISTANCE FROM IRAQ

Dear Friend,

I am Sgt Chung Lee Tao of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 10th day of August 2006,

We were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured.

In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp.

Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons, one filled with hard drugs (cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $25M after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.

I am in keen need of a "Reliable and Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to give you 20% of this fund.

Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.

Sincere regards,
Sgt Chung Lee Tao

A good effort. Quite what Chung intends to do with the nukes is anyone's guess, but we reckon the US Marines must now have enough nose Ajax to fuel a couple of years of energetic torturing of captured terrorists. Carry on Sergeant. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Google recommends pronounceable passwords
Super Chrome goes into battle with Mr Mxyzptlk
Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say
Cupertino slurps 15 cents from every $100 purchase
Reddit wipes clean leaked celeb nudie pics, tells users to zip it
Now we've had all THAT TRAFFIC, we 'deplore' this theft
Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM
Internet of Stuff securo-cockups strike yet again
YouTube, Amazon and Yahoo! caught in malvertising mess
Cisco says 'Kyle and Stan' attack is spreading through compromised ad networks
TorrentLocker unpicked: Crypto coding shocker defeats extortionists
Lousy XOR opens door into which victims can shove a foot
Greater dev access to iOS 8 will put us AT RISK from HACKERS
Knocking holes in Apple's walled garden could backfire, says securo-chap
Microsoft to patch ASP.NET mess even if you don't
We know what's good for you, because we made the mess says Redmond
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.