US Marine unearths nukes, cocaine and $25m
Iraq paydirt for the Lads from Lagos
The Lads from Lagos have been a little too quiet of late, or at least that part of their operation dedicated to composing new and provocative variations on the 419 email seems to have been on extended vacation.
We're glad, then, to offer you this delightful ditty, hot from the inbox:
From: email@example.com [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: 04 September 2006 14:09
Subject: BUSINESS ASSISTANCE FROM IRAQ
I am Sgt Chung Lee Tao of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 10th day of August 2006,
We were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured.
In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp.
Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons, one filled with hard drugs (cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $25M after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.
I am in keen need of a "Reliable and Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to give you 20% of this fund.
Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.
Sgt Chung Lee Tao
A good effort. Quite what Chung intends to do with the nukes is anyone's guess, but we reckon the US Marines must now have enough nose Ajax to fuel a couple of years of energetic torturing of captured terrorists. Carry on Sergeant. ®