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Ving Rhames and I are born to be stars...

Separated at birth

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Ving RhamesAlec GuinnessIt has to be a wind-up, right? Some Hollywood producer has announced a grab for the rights of a "yet to be written" comedy staring Guy Goma and me.

It seems not. Fourteen stories in Google news already, and counting. And my agent, Martin Veitch, asking if I want my picture updated on my column for IT Week...

And the phone is ringing off the hook with people asking "who do you want to play you, seeing that Olivier is dead?"

I can't see a challenge, here. When you have a living, "spitting image" double, who is also a great star with a track record as a computer expert, why look further than Ving Rhames?

...and, to play the part of Guy Goma, obviously, the ideal person would be Alec Guinness, who so uncannily resembles him; but after his unavoidable (and puzzling) disembodiment at the hands of Darth Vader, he seems not to photograph well.

So the obvious person, if Eric Clapton doesn't want the part, would be Larry Ellison.

Guy GomaLarry EllisonActually, last time I went sailing* with Larry, comment did arise about which of us was which. Especially when it came to my round to pay at the bar. I never carry large amounts on me. It seems Larry and I have this in common.

Only their mothers could tell them apart. Anyway, the important thing is, any one of them could be mistaken for me in the BBC reception.

* Oddly, he and I were not on the same boat at the same time. He was on some racing dinghy called BMW Oracle, and I was on a smart motor-boat watching him race off the coast of Denmark. He won his race, and I had a nap on a pile of cushions and was woken by one of his staff, shaking my shoulder and saying: "Larry?" and apparently wanting me to pay a bar bill for 50 people...

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