Feeds

Apple, BT smash lightspeed barrier

Humanity faster than we knew

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Good news, everybody. While we've all been labouring under the impression that travelling at the speed of light is some kind of unattainable dream, today we have learned that either humanity has already smashed through the light barrier, or that we will do so by around 2051. Time travel is also bound to have been sussed by then.

The most optimistic report comes from the Apple iTunes store. The free single of the week for this week is a little ditty by Irish band Bell X-1. The blurb next to the download button cheerfully informs us that "The Bell X-1 was the first airplane to fly faster than the speed of light".

Apple breaks the news we've all been waiting for

But if that isn't good enough for you, we have also received news from the BT futurology department. Seems tomorrow is the 80th anniversary of traffic lights. Good, eh? To celebrate, BT's Mystic Megs have put together a timeline of transport milestones for the next fifty years or so.

Cars with automatic steering, 2008 - 2012

Speed controlled automatically, 2011-2015

Fully automated-piloted cars, 2016-2020

Time travel invented, 2051 onwards

Faster than light travel, 2051 onwards

Marvellous. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Arab States make play for greater government control of the internet
Nerds told to get lost in last-minute power grab bid at UN meeting
Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express
Series finally hits stride, but Clara's U-turn is baffling
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores
The, er, Beats go on after noise-cancelling spat
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.