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'Colombian Flu' takes down Mitnick

Phreaking heart

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The headline "Famed hacker felled by the flu" makes you long for the days when the US media churned out stories that documented Kevin Mitnick's battles with the government.

Sadly, the police chases, wiretaps and manhunts have indeed been replaced with stories about Mitnick's immune system. The AP this week reported that Mitnick caught the flu while in Bogota. The "Colombian Flu" was so bad that Mitnick spent time in a local hospital, which resulted in him missing the Hope Conference in New York.

What exactly were Mitnick's symptoms? Well, "chest pains and elevated blood pressure," of course. One could propose any number of causes for the Colombian heart flurries, but Mitnick settled on blaming Bogota's high - get it - elevation.

Mitnick received some antibiotics, morphine and a penicillin shot to the ass, which he described as "the worst thing that has ever happened to me," according to the newswire report.

Like suckers, we thought eight months of solitary confinement would have been Mitnick's low point.

So, there you have it, folks. The tough guy hacker who used to pick fights with the government, companies and The New York Times can't even take a needle to the rear.

But, if you're going to be a wuss, be a famous wuss. Mitnick has to be the only geek on record to have his cold documented by the AP

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