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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Letter of the Week We should have known better than to abbreviate "San Francisco" to "San Fran" in our shock report earlier this week into the UK's first Masturbate-a-thon. Oh yes, and we accused the locals of sexual degeneracy, which turned out to be a bad move:

As an American, as well as a San Franciscan--that is, a resi of the cit whos nam you customar inexplic, habitua, annoyi trunca in yo stori as "San Fran"--humility compels me to demur at your story's subhead: "American Degeneracy Crosses the Pond."

I have it on good authority that you Brits were resplendently degenerate long before white men ever set foot on this side of the pond, and you've retained your headstart. To say nothing of the French. And not even to THINK about the Germans or Dutch. (Assuming Amsterd deserves even half of its naughty reputa.)

I hear Rio de Jan and Bangk know how to party too.

But tha for the implic compli. We'll endeav to live up to it. Coming as it does from Engla, a country whose name is all but synony with elabor kinky corpor punishm scenari, discipl, cross-dres, etc., your "degener" dub makes my heart swell and throb with pride. I'm sure I speak for all of Ameri as well as for my little city with its appar imposs long unwiel nam.

Hoping your heat wave ends and Lond returns to its customa tempera comfor clim soo.

Jonathan Rasmussen

Well done, sir. For the record, we also had a few letters this week about the word "doco" (=documentary), as featured in this story on Channel Five's intention to air a cryonic freezing doco. Roughly half of correspondents demanded the immediate reinstatement of the banned words mobe and lappy while the remainder demanded the immediate reinstatement of the birch for such linguistic outrages. The Vulture Central Lexicographical Soviet is considering the matter, and a pronouncement is expected soon. ®

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