Feeds

The UK office: hotbed of Bacchanalian lust

Work-based rumpy-pumpy epidemic

Top three mobile application threats

It's official: the UK office is a steaming cauldron of sexual desire in which colleagues exchange flirtatious emails and smouldering looks as a ritual prelude to forming the work-based beast with two backs.

That, at least, is according to research by the Aziz Corporation, which concludes that not only have one third of Brits had a "fling" with a fellow worker, but that the majority of managers consider the practice "perfectly acceptable".

Indeed, 83 per cent of big cheeses polled presented no objections to inter-staff rumpy-pumpy, and 53 per cent said they'd indulge in a bit themselves - even if it were with a junior colleague.

Your average boss does not, however, simply pounce on the receptionist and drag her into the server room for some light executive relief. Forty-three per cent admitted they'd "fancied someone at work but were unsure about what to do about it" - a far cry from the days when scullery maids were considered a fair target for the master's cruel intentions.

The hoi polloi, meanwhile, are apparently going at it like jackrabbits. In addition to the aforementioned 35 per cent who've enjoyed a brief encounter with a fellow worker, 29 per cent have formed long-term relationships with someone from work.

This orgiastic Bacchanalia is fuelled by a heady mix of saucy email exchanges (28 per cent of pollees said they'd indulged in e-flirting), and good, old-fashioned sexual fantasising (44 per cent 'fessed up to light daydreaming about a colleague).

Naturally, there is a downside to all this. Aziz Corporation supremo professor Khalid Aziz explained: "Whilst office life may have become more relaxed, people need to consider the possible repercussions of an office romance. A quick fling may not communicate a professional attitude and could stifle career progression.

"Whatever the official policy may be, you can guarantee that directors will still want decisions to be made with the head – and not the heart."

Which should act as a warning to the 13 per cent of Brits who claimed they'd enjoyed "intimate relations" in the workplace: mission-critical purchasing decisions should be made after extensive market analysis and financial projections; not after a quick shag under the desk with someone from accounts. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley: Ousting Steve Jobs 'was a mistake'
Twenty-nine years later, post-Pepsi exec has flat-forehead moment
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
Number crunching suggests Yahoo! US is worth less than nothing
China and Japan holdings worth more than entire company
Intel sees 'signs of improvement in the PC business' but earnings remain 'Meh...'
Prospects for the future, however, please Wall Street money men
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.