Telewest says sorry for World Cup blackout
Compensation on the cards for disgrunted England fans
Bristol staggered to a standstill last Sunday teatime, when 100,000 of the area's Telewest subscribers lost their TV signal for all of Songs of Praise, Last of the Summer Wine and some Ecuadorians playing football.
Rumours that the 375 England fans arrested in Stuttgart that evening were, in fact, Telewest customers, whose collective jetstream of pure chav fury had catapulted them half-way across Europe and into a German police station, remain unconfirmed.
Telewest has apologised for the untimely blackout. The cable provider blames a mainline fibre fault, and assures disgruntled footy fans that that compensation will be considered "on a case-by-case basis".
Compensation? For missing some football that's on in every pub from Land's End to Carlisle? Give me strength, as the great Billie Piper would say. Doctor Who's Rose told the Radio Times that she's "not taking a penny" from ex-husband Chris Evans, and branded huge divorce settlements "disgusting".
We love this woman more and more each day. Sadly, as anyone with a passing interest now knows, Rose meets a sticky end in next week's season finale. If you shudder at the thought of life without Bill, the internet offers several fixes: 12 (and counting) exclusive Rose-strewn Tardisodes to watch online or on your mobile, a rather neat mash-up of Chris Eccleston, Billie and Pink, and assorted desktop Roses.
Meanwhile, the BBC is said to have snapped up the Torchwood.org.uk web address, ahead of the Who spin-off's mooted autumn launch on BBC3. Visit the site now and all you get is a flashing red "Access Denied" slogan. Some may say that watching it all day is more fun than football...we couldn't possibly comment.
Top five to watch this week:
1. The Science of Superman Saturday 1 July, Sky One, 5pm
The Man of Steel really could happen, say scientists. Here they prove that Supe's X-Ray vision, wowsa strength and ability to make the world go round the wrong way are the kind of thing we can all do if we eat up our Yorkies and spinach. But not even Krypton's finest is likely to KO England-Portugal in the ratings - it's on at the same time on the other side.
2. Doctor Who, Saturday 1 July, BBC1, 7pm
Part one of the season finale, "Army of Ghosts". Excitable sources say that the two-parter includes a tinpot face-off between the Cybermen and the Daleks, but excitable sources may just have been dreaming.
3. Bleak House, Friday 30 June, BBC4, 7pm
BBC4 begins a repeat of Andrew Davies's multi-garlanded Dickens adaptation, featuring Gillian Anderson, Johnny Vegas, and plenty of olden days London dirt.
5. Futurama, weeknights, Sky One, 6.30pm
Matt Groening's show is to be resurrected by Comedy Central, giving us a fine excuse to highlight this regular slot. Sky One rolls out a vintage episode of Futurama every weeknight at 6.30pm, so start now and you might just catch up in time for the new series in 2008.
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