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Scots battle English on Andy Murray blog

Net carnage follows 'anyone but England' slur

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The blog of Scottish tennis hopeful Andy Murray has turned into a Braveheart-style battlefield between Scots and English following the player's recent comment that he'd back Paraguay in England's opening World Cup match, and in fact he'd support "anyone but England" during the tournament.

Well, the English didn't like that one bit. Reasoned responses to the ill-advised outburst include "Well anyone but a pathetic Little Scotlander sweaty like you at Wimbledon for me old chum", "Hi Andy - my mate told me that you are not eligible for the BBC Sports Personality of the year award because you haven’t got one? Is that true?", "I went to Scotland once, it was full of ginger haired weird men wearing womens skirts eating square sausage and trying to make love to a wooden pole" and "You are rubbish. Tennis is a rubbish sport. Scotland is absolutely rubbish, and if it isnt, then why do you all leave to come south?"

Oh dear, oh dear. The Scots were, naturally, soon wielding their claymores with:

Just shows you how sad, pathetic and small minded some english people are and you wonder why we cant stand you arrogant fvcks. Keep speaking you mind Andy, all of Scotland loves you for it. Dont let these morons get to you, us scots have a sense of humour that these knuckle-draggers just dont get. Theyre all being the forum hardmen, love to even see them attempt to say anything to your face or any scotsmans face, COWARDS!

and...

Ha ha, you have to laugh at how much these poor wee sensitive souls have worked themselves up over Andy's throwaway comment about the World Cup!!

"Boo hoo - no-one loves us"

and as for not supporting Andy at Wimbledon, do you really think he gives a flying fvck about some miserable guffs not supporting him??

and...

Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die,
Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die,
Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die,
Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die,
Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die,
Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die, Scotland til i die...

And so on...

The conflict has, sadly, now escalated into an international free-for-all, with one Aussie commenting: "Can't belive how upset these Poms are about a completely innocuous comment about one of the oldest sporting rivalries in the world! It won't just be the Scots pissing themsleves when the poms falter (get 'robbed' - again!!!) out of the world cup. Good -onya Andy tell them the way it is."

An American, meanwhile, weighed in today with: "My, my, the English are very easily upset aren't they? Some of the comments on here really show what a band of small minded bigots they really are. A nasty, nasty people, If you are not English then beware before visiting the country otherwise you could be in for a VERY rude awakening. Better still visit Ireland, Scotland or Wales where in my experience the welcome is warm and genuine."

Hmmmm. Murray attempted yesterday to avoid United Nations intervention by declaring: "I'm not anti-English! I have supported Tim the last ten years and he is English! Ricky Hatton is one of my favourite boxers and he is English. I said I think England will beat Portugal in my press conference! I made a joke I don't mind whether England win or lose! Press blew it out of proportion!"

To little avail, it must be said. Further damage-limitation came from the The Lawn Tennis Association (LTA) which, as The Scotsman notes, "is to use £500,000 from its publicly funded coffers to pay for coaching for Murray".

An LTA spokesman offered: "Andy is Scottish, but he represents Great Britain in tennis. We certainly wouldn't tell him which football team he should support, nor should anyone hold it against him. Whether he's an Englishman or a Scotsman is irrelevant; he's a great British tennis player."

Although this statement - containing as it does the word "British" - is unlikely to assuage the patriots from both sides of the border, we're delighted to report that while the carnage continues unabated, there is at least one voice of reason to be found crying in the wilderness:

Could anyone tell me where the skegness today site has gone? I was looking for it but got sent here instead, and although i think andrew is obviously a very nice young man, I really wanted to discuss the pressing issues (yes, that illegaly built shed is causing me some vexation!) relating to Skegness. Would any of you younger types here please care to point me in the direction of the Skegness today website?

thanks

Roy

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