Feeds

Germans gun down rampaging bear

Zero ursine tolerance in Bavaria

Intelligent flash storage arrays

State authorities in Bavaria have shot dead a brown bear which had become the country's first wild sighting since 1835.

Bruno crossed the Alpine border from Austria in May, and was at first greeted with "we have nothing to fear" complacency from wildlife agents. The 220lb bear, aiming to fatten up for its winter hibernation, predictably went on a sheep binge, leading panicked farmers into calls for a government assassination.

Only last week, the BBC reported that Bruno had staged a daring escape from a pack of specialist Finnish hunting dogs drafted in to corner him.

Unfortunately for the mutton-loving beast, the plan had been to dart and forcibly repatriate him. Instead, Bruno's would-be captors decided to allow hunters to put a bullet in him, in an act of outright Teutonic aggression which can only serve to further enrage the world's bear population.

The RZSL™ bunker, which had been restocking munitions and briefing field agents in preparation for the resumption of hostilities at the end of the World Cup, has been scrambled back up to DEFCON 3 on the news.

A top-level communiqué has been sent to all keepers of mixed bear and monkey enclosures warning special vigilance when bears are seen loitering in groups of more than two. And possibly to turn off the electric fence. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.