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Everyone at El Reg is fired. Yes. Everyone

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Letter of the Week We should have known better than to try and slip a quick mobile phone lightning death menace piece past you lot on a Friday, and here's why:

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Everyone at El-Reg is fired. Yes. Everyone. Even the Lettuce bloke and the guy who made rather a mess of the "database" last week. Hell, sack the cleaner and the unforetunate who serves the danish and coffee during brunch.

It's like the lovely Mr Blaater (or is it Blatter, I can't be bothered to go and find out) says: Someone should have run on to the pitch (ok, rushed around the cupboard that is El-Reg HQ) shouting "Stop! Stop!"

Hang on ... It's my tablets ... You haven't really run with the Lightening Kills People on Mobiles "news" have you ... ONLY the BBC is going to run with that load of old cobblers, surely?!

THREE PEOPLE in the whole wide world have been found dead after using their mobile phone in a thunderstorm (and one person is badly injured).

It appears that's ever; not this week, not last year, not even back in the 1990s. Nope. Ever. Three people.

So the El-Reg headline should read "Using mobile phones in a storm is LESS dangerous than blowing your nose!"

I know it's Friday, I know the footie kicks off in an hour or so ... But there is no excuse. So yer all fired for being a bunch of bed-wetting, paranoid, happy-to-parrot-fear-mongering-nonsense wazzocks!

(And where are the bl00dy Letters? Hmmm? Lunch-time has come and gone already ... tap tap tap ...)

;o)

Andy Harrison

Listen, Andy, we're not sure you're taking this mobile electrocution threat seriously. You try telling the bloke from China who was struck by lightning while gabbing away that it's not matter of life or death. And as for blowing your nose, well, a recent British Medical Journal exposé revealed that between 1560 and 2005, seventeen people were struck by meteorites while expelling the contents of their nasal passages. The reason? They simply had not been alerted to the possible risk. We rest our case. ®

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