Sky viewers show Motty the red button
Footie fans go interactive
Tech Digest There's much excitement in Geek TV's plush suite over a Sky press release that fails to mention the World Cup.
We can't even find any puns about "kicking off" or "two halves" in the missive, which alerts us to the upcoming high-def live broadcast of a Robbie Williams concert. September's HD airing will also feature some interactive options, though rumours that ladies of a certain age can press red for virtual hot lovin' with the singing stallion of Stoke-on-Trent are unconfirmed.
Robbie, speaking via the medium of the Sky press office, says: "I've seen high-definition television. It looks great."
Rob's forensic insights have yet to be added to the BBC's interactive World Cup commentary menu. If and when they are, you can bet he'd attract more viewers than soporific sheep-wearer John Motson. Nearly 2m viewers pressed red to silence Motty in the tournament's first three days - and that's just the Sky subscribers.
Viewers preferred to accompany their pictures with the sound of BBC Radio Five Live, crowd noise or foreign broadcasters. Quite right, too. Why settle for "My, that was some strike by the England number 10" when you can have "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOOOOOOAL!"?
Similar hoopla is expected to mark the inevitable ejection of Grace from the Big Brother house tonight. Grace, a woman whose name fits her character about as well as John Prescott fits in the front seat of a Tonka, has managed to become the most reviled TV personality of the year. See, Motty? It's not just you.
Clip of the week: Motty-free, Grace-free, Robbie Williams-free, non-HD Stingray on YouTube
Top five to watch this week:
1. Doctor Who, Saturday 17 June, BBC1, 7pm
Tonight's ep is "Love and Monsters", aka An Audience With Doctor Who, with celebrity guests Marc Warren and Peter Kay sucking up all the attention and trying to distract viewers from the nigglesome suspicion that this series just isn't as good as the Eccleston one. Followed at 7.45 on BBC3 by Doctor Who Confidential.
2. The Gunther Von Hagens Body Appeal, Monday 19 June, More4, 9pm
The Deutsche cadaver-carver we're contractually obliged to call "controversial" is back, and this time he wants your organs. Followed by a week-long re-run of his series Autopsy: Life and Death, just so you know what you're letting your insides in for.
3. Veronica Mars, Thursday 22 June, LivingTV, 8pm
The fantasy teen "tec drama is back - and this time it's got Steve Guttenburg in it.
4. Lost, Tuesday 20 June, E4, Midnight
"The 23rd Psalm", in which Claire finds out what's in the Virgin Mary statue and gets cross with Merry. Kate gives Sawyer a haircut. It's Neighbours Goes to Hawaii, isn't it?
5. Voices in My Head, Sunday 18 June, C4, 7.30pm
Scientists reveal radical new theories on why some people hear voices inside their heads. No tapes available at the time of writing, so we don't know whether the programme features anyone whose head-voice is an over-stimulated Argentinian screaming "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" ®
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