Feeds

Your Al Gore review made us SPeW!

And our thoughts on Intel's emerging toys biz

The essential guide to IT transformation

Satisfaction per what?

A better measure has got to be Satisfaction Per Blow.

The concept - as if it really needs explaining - is that the amount of satisfaction is directly (and positively) correlated with the number of damaging blows achieved with weapon of choice (baseball bat, plank with nail in end, cattle prod, etc).

Applies equally to overheating Intel kit as it does to irritating users. If it stops complaining (talking/whining/beeping/whirring*), satisfaction is achieved.

My therapist agrees with the principle, even if they can't quite agree with the potential silencing of users involved.

E.

*Delete as appropriate.

Erik


ACHTUNG, Copyright Verletzung!

The expression SPEW are Copyright 1992 by Hermione Jane Granger, All Frights Reserved!

Anyone using it without permission might better like the taste of flies and murky water....

So Ashley, Prepare to Croak!! =;-)....

MEOW!

No name supplied


"Satisfaction Per Watt"? Oh man. This reeks of panic, and a committee that really could not come up with anything better. I almost feel sorry for them.

I think they were doing just fine with their previous trick: selling consumers on the highest clock rate (regardless of actual "work done per second" measures). Obviously they're panicking. They should chill out. But that's the problem, I guess, isn't it?

Tom Surace


Satisfaction Per Watt? OK, SPEW wasn't bad but if your going to go for satisfaction per watt I think most ladies will go for shooping at Good Vibrations.

[I can't belive you let a dildo joke go by.]

Have fun,

David Evans


I was sure I'd heard of SPW before and yes, it's a rating that Ann Summers gives to their sex toys.

Rich Ellis


o Intel wants to measure its CPUs with a satisfaction rating now. As in, this is how satisfied you'll be after spending this much money for this model of CPU ? I don't think so. It is now a rather well known fact that the performance, or satisfaction rating, of a PC depends on multiple elements, namely the chipset, the motherboard, the graphics card, the amount and speed of the RAM, and the size and speed of the hard discs, and finally, the processing power of the CPU. Last I checked, of these six elements, Intel makes one, and has very little say today over what the others do. For example, the rage today is about DDR3 and 1000Mhz bus speeds.

Mobo makers are implementing this, chipset makers are dealing with it and the dramurai are slavering away on the modules. Intel has little to do with this, apart from making its chips compatible. And if it didn't, it wouldn't sell any, because now people want DDR3 in their RAM slots. Consequently, it is not Intel's place to talk about platforms, overall satisfaction or global performance - Intel simply does not have the influence, from a technical standpoint. Put Intel's most powerful CPU in a system with 256MB of RAM, a DX7 graphics card and a 20GB disk at 5200RPM and tell me how much satisfaction you get out of it. Your place, Intel, is to tout just how many more instructions per second yours can do and for how much energy. Leave the satisfaction ratings to the hardware enthusiast sites that do the crazy benchmarks, or to Dell, which actually sells whole systems.

Pascal Monett


"Satisfaction per watt"? Are they comparing vibrators?

Bert


Satisfaction per Watt. Read: we're at our witt's end what bunkum to sell to the general publice. Their next press releases will be clouded in a suffusion of yellow...

Satisfaction per Watt... are they trying to sell processors or dildos?

Jorge


I nearly "SPeWed" my leftover chipotle burrito when I read your story about Intel's new performance metric, SPW. As always, Intel is absolutely incapable of simply admitting they made an error and then correct it with hard work and ingenuity like everyone else does - no, they have to try to change the rules of the game into their favor through massive marketing campaigns instead: "Now lookie here Mr. Customer, you don't want that efficient thing do ya? What you really want is this shiny thingy over here that we've conveniently rebranded to look attractive to lemmings." 

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig - as we used say in the old world. Yep, this time they've really shot themselves in the arse. It took 20 years for them to brainwash the world into thinking that more megahertz was always better. It'll probably only take 10 years to undo.

Thanks for making me laugh. Or rather, thanks Intel!

[Name Supplied]

Two clear points arise from these letters. 1. This story is sure to have interesting Google ads. 2. Intel is sure to drop SPeW. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.