Feeds

Norway besieged by bear army

Crab submariner division too

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Not content with having brutally murdered a defenceless monkey, Europe's bears continue their relentless march toward supremacy.

The fall of the iron curtain has been a boon for Russia's own bear insurgency*, allowing them to expand into defenceless Norway. The advancing brown bears on the formerly fortified border are reaping the benefits of not being shot at random by bored communists, Reuters reports.

In the days of Uncle Joe Stalin, Soviet border guards used errant bears as target practice, halting their assault of Norway. American bear researcher Martin Smith, who works on the Norway-Russia border said: “I get the impression it was pretty much a free-for-all for guards to shoot bears.”

The area's former no-go status means conservationists are making it easy for the invaders, pushing for its relatively pristine wilderness to be protected. Genetic analysis of droppings has shown that the bear army are building their numbers.

And they seem unstoppable. Smith said: “I once saw a 300lb bear that got through a 12 inch by 12 inch [hole].”

The bears are backed up in the sea by red king crab collaborators, marauding across the Barents Sea having been introduced from the Pacific by the Soviets in the 30s. It's feared the crabs, which environmentalists say are decimating local ecosystems, may spread as far south as the Mediterranean.

Norwegian politicians would do well to take a lead from their Australian counterparts, who, faced with an invasion of cane toads suggested that people should hit them with golf clubs, cricket bats or lumps of wood. Though they might need something more like a blunderbus**. ®

*Following the weekend's monkey bloodbath in the Netherlands, an "insurgency" is now the correct term.

**We do not advocate the shooting of endangered species.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Voyager 1 now EIGHTEEN LIGHT HOURS from home
Almost 20 BEEELION kilometres from Sol
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff
Er, we think our ISS launch beats your fishing expedition
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
BAE points electromagnetic projectile at US Army
Railguns for 'Future fighting vehicle'
OK Google, do I have CANCER?
Company talks up pill that would spot developing tumors
LONG ARM of the SAUR: Brachially gifted dino bone conundrum solved
Deinocheirus mirificus was a bit of a knuckle dragger
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.
Getting ahead of the compliance curve
Learn about new services that make it easy to discover and manage certificates across the enterprise and how to get ahead of the compliance curve.