Feeds

Norway besieged by bear army

Crab submariner division too

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Not content with having brutally murdered a defenceless monkey, Europe's bears continue their relentless march toward supremacy.

The fall of the iron curtain has been a boon for Russia's own bear insurgency*, allowing them to expand into defenceless Norway. The advancing brown bears on the formerly fortified border are reaping the benefits of not being shot at random by bored communists, Reuters reports.

In the days of Uncle Joe Stalin, Soviet border guards used errant bears as target practice, halting their assault of Norway. American bear researcher Martin Smith, who works on the Norway-Russia border said: “I get the impression it was pretty much a free-for-all for guards to shoot bears.”

The area's former no-go status means conservationists are making it easy for the invaders, pushing for its relatively pristine wilderness to be protected. Genetic analysis of droppings has shown that the bear army are building their numbers.

And they seem unstoppable. Smith said: “I once saw a 300lb bear that got through a 12 inch by 12 inch [hole].”

The bears are backed up in the sea by red king crab collaborators, marauding across the Barents Sea having been introduced from the Pacific by the Soviets in the 30s. It's feared the crabs, which environmentalists say are decimating local ecosystems, may spread as far south as the Mediterranean.

Norwegian politicians would do well to take a lead from their Australian counterparts, who, faced with an invasion of cane toads suggested that people should hit them with golf clubs, cricket bats or lumps of wood. Though they might need something more like a blunderbus**. ®

*Following the weekend's monkey bloodbath in the Netherlands, an "insurgency" is now the correct term.

**We do not advocate the shooting of endangered species.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations
Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox!
Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins
Robo-sub scans freezing waters, rocks warming models
Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU
Doctors find new Digitillnesses - 'text neck' and 'telepressure'
Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs
And a floating carrier for recyclable rockets
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray
Want to arm that shark? Better get in there quick
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.