Feeds

Norway besieged by bear army

Crab submariner division too

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Not content with having brutally murdered a defenceless monkey, Europe's bears continue their relentless march toward supremacy.

The fall of the iron curtain has been a boon for Russia's own bear insurgency*, allowing them to expand into defenceless Norway. The advancing brown bears on the formerly fortified border are reaping the benefits of not being shot at random by bored communists, Reuters reports.

In the days of Uncle Joe Stalin, Soviet border guards used errant bears as target practice, halting their assault of Norway. American bear researcher Martin Smith, who works on the Norway-Russia border said: “I get the impression it was pretty much a free-for-all for guards to shoot bears.”

The area's former no-go status means conservationists are making it easy for the invaders, pushing for its relatively pristine wilderness to be protected. Genetic analysis of droppings has shown that the bear army are building their numbers.

And they seem unstoppable. Smith said: “I once saw a 300lb bear that got through a 12 inch by 12 inch [hole].”

The bears are backed up in the sea by red king crab collaborators, marauding across the Barents Sea having been introduced from the Pacific by the Soviets in the 30s. It's feared the crabs, which environmentalists say are decimating local ecosystems, may spread as far south as the Mediterranean.

Norwegian politicians would do well to take a lead from their Australian counterparts, who, faced with an invasion of cane toads suggested that people should hit them with golf clubs, cricket bats or lumps of wood. Though they might need something more like a blunderbus**. ®

*Following the weekend's monkey bloodbath in the Netherlands, an "insurgency" is now the correct term.

**We do not advocate the shooting of endangered species.

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
GRAV WAVE DRAMA: 'Big Bang echo' may have been grit on the scanner – boffins
Exit Planet Dust on faster-than-light expansion of universe
SpaceX Dragon cargo truck flies 3D printer to ISS: Clawdown in 3, 2...
Craft berths at space station with supplies, experiments, toys
That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN
One MEELLION years older. Some of it anyway
NASA rover Curiosity drills HOLE in MARS 'GOLF COURSE'
Joins 'traffic light' and perfect stony sphere on the Red Planet
Big dinosaur wowed females with its ENORMOUS HOOTER
That's right, Doris, I've got biggest snout in the prehistoric world
Japanese volcano eruption reportedly leaves 31 people presumed dead
Hopes fade of finding survivors on Mount Ontake
Relive the death of Earth over and over again in Extinction Game
Apocalypse now, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that ...
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.