Eagle-eyed Reg readers* have spotted that the first name on yesterday's DARPA patent application for a ludicrous man-firing chair on rails is one Dean Kamen.

Yes, the very same Dean Kamen that spawned upon on the world Segway, the 'Human Transporter' beloved of donut-guzzling law enforcement lazybones, marauding campus geek squads, and unnamed Reg hacks alike.

Segway kindly provided a testdrive of the "pogo stick on two wheels" for Register staff back in November.

Thus, never ones to dodge danger, we'd like to be first to volunteer to test DARPA/Kamen's latest blueprints, should they ever come to bone-crunching fruition.®

*Kudos to Mike Earl, first to spot the hand of an evil genius at work.