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Bodily upgrade

Published Friday 12th May 2006 08:02 GMT

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Human Service Pack 1 

By Ian Strickley
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 08:59 GMT

What no suggestion of a WiFi connection built in and a 14-in-1 memory card reader... how disappointing.

Personally I always fancied an eye on the end of my finger so I could see around corners, it would certainly reduce nose picking.

Artists impression 

By Rob Elkin
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 10:10 GMT

An artists rendition of this would be interesting...

Improving humans 

By Peter Clarke
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 10:28 GMT

I always thought that humans would be greatly improved by crossing them with Kangaroos. Our marsupial friends are already bipedal and complete with little hands, so the transition wouldn't be too alien and we'd still be able to carry out most of the manual tasks we currently engage in.

Their form would provide us with a built-in pocket and a handy tail to take the strain off our feet when they're no seats left in the pub. The increased speed and endurance that would come with Kangaroo style hopping is just what we need to put a halt to our ever-increasing reliance on environmentally unsound vehicular transport.

It would also do wonders for the sport of boxing.

A real clone based humanoid 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 10:29 GMT

IF you look at the longest liveing live on this planet thier cells tend to be less sexual and more clone base in thier celluler makup. Would not the ultimate upgrade be to be more like a humanoid one of these.

Reconstruction 

By Martin Hughes
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 11:29 GMT

After processing the variables through an intense reconstruction process, I have successfully narrowed what the improved human appearance may look like. A magnificent specimen.

http://www.sptimes.com/2003/12/25/photo/FLO_0_wk25jacko.jpg

EMU 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 12:03 GMT

Surely that's a reasonably accurate description of an EMU ?

Personnally I would like detachable arms so I can get comfortable in bed...

Better ideas 

By Steven Guenther
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 15:52 GMT

Yes the longest lived things reproduce by cells.

But working like a Redwood or a Coral Reef is silly.

The next best is a land tortise, skip the extra ribs and

jump to a full shell.

Separate the air and food intake pipes completely.

Move the ligament attachements out.

Some baseball pitchers get the "Tommy Johns" surgery.

A third or fourth leg to add stability.

However it was our long range efficiency that helped

us spread across the globe.

Many of his suggestions look like Cro-magnon.

Why did we beat them out.

Visualization 

By Marlin Johnson
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 16:38 GMT

Thicker bones, forward leaning posture, thicker neck...

Anyone else seeing a neanderthal?

Reverse evolution 

By Steven Walker
Posted Friday 12th May 2006 19:28 GMT

Trying to picture the result I came to the conclusion that the evolutionists have it all wrong: the apes are descended from humans

Steve

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