Feeds

Oh look, Big Brother's back

With secret celebs and golden tickets too

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Tech Digest Can we get the Big Brother stuff out of the way first, please? At the time of writing, the wily eBayer who’s flogging a BB Golden Ticket out of a KitKat that he hasn't bought yet has seen bids shoot to £1.67. Hey, don’t laugh. You can get two KitKat Chunky three-packs for that.

Meanwhile in Elstree, the BB house has been swept for bugging devices planted by betting syndicates. None were found, of course. Betting Mafiosi are too busy preparing for Celebrity X Factor, which will be watched by about six times as many people as BB.

But never mind the ratings: BB remains an advertising cash cow, so it’s spawned more spin-offs than an amoeba that's been dividing since the birth of Jesus. New this year is Big Brother's Big Brain, for which Dermot O'Leary and his guest psychologists tell us exactly which inmates will sleep with each other, just from looking. Isn’t science marvellous?

More dregs sucked from the cow include BB's Big Mouth, Diary Room Uncut, BB: The Love Stories (shudder) and BB's Top 50 Housemates. Top 50? Soon BB will have more exes than Darren Day. We'll have to build a whole island for them, like Alcatraz. Or maybe the Falklands.

Anyway, Big Brother 7 starts on Thursday 18 May, if you care. And it never, ever ends.

Another irritant about to become ubiquitous on your TV, browser, digital radio (etc ad infinitum) is Digit Al, a cartoon robot voiced by Matt Lucas. Digit Al, whose name was dreamed up after many months' graft by highly-paid branding creatives, will spend the next seven years reminding you to switch to digital telly. Screaming "I got digital in 1999, you patronising cretins" won't make him go away. He even airs on More4, which you can't see unless you've already got digital. Digital Al has cost the taxpayer a mere £200m. Just so you know, you can get 117 million KitKat Chunky three-packs for that.

Postscript: Apologies for such a distressing issue of Geek TV. This’ll cheer you up: the goody bag given to last week’s Bafta nominees included jewellery – from televised tat-shop QVC. So if Billie's ears look a bit mouldy during your next freeze-frame session, you’ll know why.

Five to watch this week:

Saturday: Doctor Who, BBC1, 7pm
This week’s “it’s that bloke” is Roger Lloyd Pack, aka Trigger off Only Fools. You might also recognise the robots with Princess Leia-shaped heads.

Saturday: Time Shift: Machine Men, BBC4, 8.15pm
Beeb Four rounds up history’s greatest real and fictional ‘bots, ‘droids and ‘borgs.

Sunday: 24, Sky One, 9pm
At 10am you’re still prising your eyelids open with a Red Bull ringpull, but CTU chief Henderson has already done a whole kidnap. Incidentally, Kiefer Sutherland told Jonathan Ross last week that the 24 movie will be shot in London.

Monday: Inside Wayne Rooney, Sky One, 9pm
Sciencey look at Sven’s kicking machine as he prepares to . . . oh. Nice idea, though, eh?

Thursday: Bring Back The A-Team, C4, 10.15pm
Hairy comic Justin Lee Collins is on a mission to reassemble the 80s TV heroes. He might have a job getting George Peppard to turn up, since he’s been dead for 12 years. Will his plan come together?

More stories

Play Deal or No Deal online

Nighty Night review

Donald Trump rapping video

10 sexiest footballers wives

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.