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Aussie paints John Howard with John Thomas

Underwear down Down Under

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

NSFW An Oz artist is wowing crowds at a Perth porn expo with his portrait of PM John Howard, Ananova reports.

What's of particular interest to visitors to Sexpo is not artist Tim Patch's choice of subject, but rather that he eschews the brush in favour of the trouser snake - thereby making him among the world's leading exponents of penis-painted portraiture.

Queenslander Patch was apparently doing quick portraits in a market until he had his moment of artistic inspiration. He splendidly recounts: "I told a friend I could paint with my dick and she was really enthusiastic."*

After "revealing his talent at a New Year's Eve party", as Ananova nicely puts it, he started sending his stuff to galleries - without much success - until Sexpo got a hold of his material.

A glittering career clearly awaits Patch, although we feel some subjects may be slightly reluctant to do a live sitting. His dad's none to impressed either. When confronted with the masterwork in question, "he shook his head and said: 'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear'," Patch admits. ®

Bootnote

*Yes, we're adding that gem to our list of chat-up lines and no messing.

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