Feeds

China moves to enslave Mother Nature

Weather bows to state hose-down operation

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Chilling news from Beijing, where the meteorological overlords of Orwellian nightmare agency, the "Weather Modification Office" have seized control of clouds. Not content with being set to dominate the world economy and politics, the government has decreed even Cumulonimbus must bow to the will of the People.

Or rather, they've come up with an eminently sensible plan to rid the capital of the tons of sand and dust from the Gobi desert that a recent storm dumped - by inducing rain.

State news organ Xinhua reports success: "A total of 163 pieces of cigarette-like sticks containing silver iodide were burned and seven rocket shells were launched in six districts and counties, which resulted in the heaviest rainfall in Beijing this spring."

This "cloud seeding" works by providing a minute silver iodide nucleus for small water droplets to conglomerate around. Eventually, enough join for rain to fall.

Cloud seeding was a pet interest of record-breakingly homicidal USSR despot Joseph Stalin. In fact, mad Uncle Joe had bigger ambitions. In the 1930s he ordered whole teams of researchers set to work to grant him dominion over the weather. The St Petersburg Times reports they worked on warding off hail and dispersing fog. ®

Bootnote

Take note, Thames Water. The current hosepipe ban in the London area could be easily avoided with a bit of "grey skies" thinking like this. With sky lords like Bill "Bully Boy" Giles on side, Britain's own "Weather Modification Office" would surely be a huge success.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs
FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study
Fat guy? Drink or smoke? You're worse than a TERRORIST
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rockin' boffin Brian Cox
Crowdfund plan to stimulate Blighty's space programme
Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg
Off to the boozer? This delicacy might help mitigate the effects
I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm
'He is just being himself' says proud mum of larger-than-life physicist
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.