Feeds

Crap crim caged for four years

Dog mess pilferer up sh*t creek

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

You can't polish a turd, they say. As mugger David Carlisle has discovered, you can't pinch one either.

The blundering Bristolian has been handed down four years hard time after he jumped 52-year-old Marion Budd as she walked her dog last July.

Carlisle demanded at knifepoint she hand over the two bags she was carrying. Unfortunately for Doodoo Dave they contained nothing but her dog's recent creations, as he discovered by dropping them as he pegged it, BBC Bristol reports.

Local coppers found the genius' DNA inside the getaway car used in the robbery, and Mrs Budd later fingered Carlisle, 32, of no fixed abode, in an ID parade.

Bristol Magistrates heard it was "testament to his incompetence" that Carlisle, a drug addict with four children, had been caught stealing faecal matter. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to reader Michael Houghton for insisting that this is the perfect Friday afternoon Bootnote.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.