Crap crim caged for four years
Dog mess pilferer up sh*t creek
You can't polish a turd, they say. As mugger David Carlisle has discovered, you can't pinch one either.
The blundering Bristolian has been handed down four years hard time after he jumped 52-year-old Marion Budd as she walked her dog last July.
Carlisle demanded at knifepoint she hand over the two bags she was carrying. Unfortunately for Doodoo Dave they contained nothing but her dog's recent creations, as he discovered by dropping them as he pegged it, BBC Bristol reports.
Local coppers found the genius' DNA inside the getaway car used in the robbery, and Mrs Budd later fingered Carlisle, 32, of no fixed abode, in an ID parade.
Bristol Magistrates heard it was "testament to his incompetence" that Carlisle, a drug addict with four children, had been caught stealing faecal matter. ®
Thanks to reader Michael Houghton for insisting that this is the perfect Friday afternoon Bootnote.