Feeds

Woman eBays groping slimeball's jacket

How not to pick up women in Chicago

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Any reader who has ever tried to pick up a woman in Chicago may already be aware of the techniques which are absolutely guaranteed to result in abject failure - or worse.

For those of you yet to make a pitch to Illinois' fairer sex, these no-nos include: sliming all over your intended victim; blatantly grabbing her breasts; throwing your hot sweaty oversized weight around near her; and shaking your big fat ass in her face.

For proof, just ask the owner of this jacket:

Don't mess with this woman

Blimey. Here's the background:

This is the first item I have ever listed on ebay and I am doing it for one specific reason- to give the loser who slimed all over me and blatantly grabbed my breasts at the bar last Thursday an opportunity to buy his jacket back. I also thought it would be fun to sell something he left behind after annoying me for an hour- bid this jacket up, the higher it goes the more Mr. Prince Charming will have to pay to get it back!

Nice one. We reckon the outrage took place at a career fair in the Windy City, if the seller's final insult is anything to go by:

If you are reading this realizing you are the 5'9" 200 lb jack ass I met at the bar last week- call your parents. I'm sure they will buy you another jacket, afterall you don't have a job.

Yes, indeed - hell hath no fury like a woman groped, and no messing. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Alex Morris for the tip-off.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec
You need an emotional connection, says touchy-feely MD... We can do that
Lawyers mobilise angry mob against Apple over alleged 2011 Macbook Pro crapness
We suffered 'random bouts of graphical distortion' - fanbois
Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET
Cupertino revenue hit by cheapo downloads, says report
US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'
Netizens allegedly duped into paying for bogus tech advice
Feds seek potential 'second Snowden' gov doc leaker – report
Hang on, Ed wasn't here when we compiled THIS document
Verizon bankrolls tech news site, bans tech's biggest stories
No agenda here. Just don't ever mention Net neutrality or spying, ok?
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Simplify SSL certificate management across the enterprise
Simple steps to take control of SSL across the enterprise, and recommendations for a management platform for full visibility and single-point of control for these Certificates.