UK supermarket chain Asda has launched a full-scale attack on legendary Loveheart sweets with its own "Whatever" confectionery aimed at TV-fuelled modern yoof, Ananova reports.

Swizzels' Lovehearts, as any UK reader will know, feature a raised heart graphic containing "innocently flirtatious phrases" like "Be Mine" and "Love you". Whatevers, on the other hand, will delight wide-eyed kiddies by offering "As if", "Respect" and the current favourite of any parent with stroppy teenage kids - "Whatever".

Asda sweet buyer James Davies explained: "We thought it was time to update this old favourite. With sayings from characters in shows such as Little Britain and the Catherine Tate Show providing us with more and more contemporary slang, we thought we needed to reflect this."

Lovers of the English language will be delighted to learn that - for their 24p a packet - they will also be entertained by other gems including "Bovvered", "Chav" and "Minger". The vodka-saturated Spangle and Red Bull-flavoured Refresher can only be matter of time. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Steve Hocking for alerting us to the shocking revelation on Northwest Tonight yesterday that Whatevers are actually manufactured by Swizzels at its Matlock factory. Apparently, it's the only outfit with a machine capable of doing the embossed messages.