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NY subway w*nker gets two years' probation

Flashing perv gets off lightly

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NSFW Dan Hoyt, the New York subway perv who exposed himself masturbating to a 22-year-old web developer, has avoided a jail sentence, the New York Post reports.

Hoyt had previously pleaded guilty to a public lewdness rap after victim Thao Nguyen snapped his self-love on her mobile and posted the pic on the web. He was quickly identified as the owner of two veggie restaurants called Quintessence, famed for their nutritious concoctions including "nut milk".

The probation service and Nguyen demanded three months' chokey for Hoyt, but the judge disagreed, ordering the five-knuckle shuffler to keep it in his trousers for two years - or suffer the consequences. He is also obliged to continue a course of therapy.

As he left the court last week, the perp was met with a group of protestors bearing banners reading, "Wash Your Hands Before You Serve Food", and "No Dan, I Wouldn't Date You" - the latter a reference to Hoyt's recent assertion that Nguyen would "probably want to go out with me" if she'd met him when he wasn't petting the trouser snake.

Sadly, and despite his public humiliation, Hoyt still appears completely unrepentant. He told a New York Post hackette (unconvincingly, she explains): "I'm a changed man." He then immediately added: "She [Nguyen] may hate me. She may like me and want to go home with me. It's her call."

The object of his masturbatory attentions not unreasonably concluded: "It doesn't seem like he's learned his lesson."

Nguyen reckons Hoyt will continue to beat his meat for the benefit of womankind, but will "just be more discreet". He'll have to be: if he's caught again unzipped in public during his two years' probation he'll be straight off to the slammer. ®

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