Feeds

NY subway w*nker gets two years' probation

Flashing perv gets off lightly

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

NSFW Dan Hoyt, the New York subway perv who exposed himself masturbating to a 22-year-old web developer, has avoided a jail sentence, the New York Post reports.

Hoyt had previously pleaded guilty to a public lewdness rap after victim Thao Nguyen snapped his self-love on her mobile and posted the pic on the web. He was quickly identified as the owner of two veggie restaurants called Quintessence, famed for their nutritious concoctions including "nut milk".

The probation service and Nguyen demanded three months' chokey for Hoyt, but the judge disagreed, ordering the five-knuckle shuffler to keep it in his trousers for two years - or suffer the consequences. He is also obliged to continue a course of therapy.

As he left the court last week, the perp was met with a group of protestors bearing banners reading, "Wash Your Hands Before You Serve Food", and "No Dan, I Wouldn't Date You" - the latter a reference to Hoyt's recent assertion that Nguyen would "probably want to go out with me" if she'd met him when he wasn't petting the trouser snake.

Sadly, and despite his public humiliation, Hoyt still appears completely unrepentant. He told a New York Post hackette (unconvincingly, she explains): "I'm a changed man." He then immediately added: "She [Nguyen] may hate me. She may like me and want to go home with me. It's her call."

The object of his masturbatory attentions not unreasonably concluded: "It doesn't seem like he's learned his lesson."

Nguyen reckons Hoyt will continue to beat his meat for the benefit of womankind, but will "just be more discreet". He'll have to be: if he's caught again unzipped in public during his two years' probation he'll be straight off to the slammer. ®

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.