Feeds

NY subway w*nker gets two years' probation

Flashing perv gets off lightly

High performance access to file storage

NSFW Dan Hoyt, the New York subway perv who exposed himself masturbating to a 22-year-old web developer, has avoided a jail sentence, the New York Post reports.

Hoyt had previously pleaded guilty to a public lewdness rap after victim Thao Nguyen snapped his self-love on her mobile and posted the pic on the web. He was quickly identified as the owner of two veggie restaurants called Quintessence, famed for their nutritious concoctions including "nut milk".

The probation service and Nguyen demanded three months' chokey for Hoyt, but the judge disagreed, ordering the five-knuckle shuffler to keep it in his trousers for two years - or suffer the consequences. He is also obliged to continue a course of therapy.

As he left the court last week, the perp was met with a group of protestors bearing banners reading, "Wash Your Hands Before You Serve Food", and "No Dan, I Wouldn't Date You" - the latter a reference to Hoyt's recent assertion that Nguyen would "probably want to go out with me" if she'd met him when he wasn't petting the trouser snake.

Sadly, and despite his public humiliation, Hoyt still appears completely unrepentant. He told a New York Post hackette (unconvincingly, she explains): "I'm a changed man." He then immediately added: "She [Nguyen] may hate me. She may like me and want to go home with me. It's her call."

The object of his masturbatory attentions not unreasonably concluded: "It doesn't seem like he's learned his lesson."

Nguyen reckons Hoyt will continue to beat his meat for the benefit of womankind, but will "just be more discreet". He'll have to be: if he's caught again unzipped in public during his two years' probation he'll be straight off to the slammer. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.