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Bendy bus attacks Leeds cake shop

Killer public transport alert

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We've warned in the past of the dangers posed to humanity by the new generation of hi-tech bendy buses, but it seems that the good burghers of Leeds were not listening.

A BBC report just in says a First Group vehicle this morning assaulted "Ainsleys bakery as it turned a corner into Infirmary Street", smashing its way through the front window and sending cake-fanciers running for their lives.

Mercifully, the bus was passengerless at the time and the driver and two bakery customers were taken to Leeds General Infirmary suffering from nothing more than minor injuries.

Eyewitness Angela Jobling said: "The bus was trying to turn and as it did it just slowly hit the kerb and just went into Ainsleys. It was very loud. I was expecting it to explode but fortunately it didn't and everybody was fine."

Sounds straightforward enough, but monitors of the Rise of the Machines™ will recall that in March 2004, three fire-breathing Citaro bendy buses spontaneously combusted in London - a vehicular mini-uprising followed a year later by another Satanic bendy bus' incendiary attack.

At the time, we attributed the menace to the dark hand of London Mayor and articulated transport guru "Red" Ken Livingstone. His role in the latest outrage is uncertain. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to a vigilant Stan Ferguson-Smith for this killer bus sighting. b3ta has a pic of the assault here.

The Rise of the Machines™

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Captain Cyborg gives forth on CNN
Cornell Uni develops apocalypse cube
Sex android begats Armageddon machine
Man executes Chrysler
Rise of the man-eating cyberloo
Sobbing Frenchman recounts Renault Laguna terror ordeal
Fire-breathing bus attacks South London
Dyson unleashes self-replicating hoover
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French join motorised Lizard Alliance
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We are Zogg: The Cuddly Menace
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A robot in every home by 2010
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Fire-breathing buses threaten London
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