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Doncaster West NHS explains meaning of 'clacker'

Handy smut guide for foreign doctors

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

NSFW In case you were wondering what the phrase "Rotherham are at home" means up north, then look no further than a handy PDF guide to local slang published by Doncaster West NHS and purportedly aimed at "doctors who do not speak English as a first language".

The document notes that while phrases such as "floo", "fluzie" and "number 2" are "in common use locally", out-of-town sawbones should be aware that "some people may find them offensive". And no wonder, meaning as they do "vagina", "vagina" and "vagina", respectively.

Our particular favourite is "my husband/partner is good to me", which does not in fact mean he regularly brings home flowers, but rather that he "doesn't expect sex".

Oh yes, "Rotherham are at home" is a local euphemism for menstruation, as is "Barnsley's at home", so you can take your pick according to footballing preference. ®

Bootnote

Ta very much to James Thorpe for the tip-off. We suspect someone is having a laugh at the expense of Doncaster West NHS, and expect the offending PDF to be pulled shortly. Accordingly, if the above link gets the chop, try the copy we've saved for your reading pleasure right here.

On the other hand...

This just in: apparently the guide appeared in a couple of UK tabloid stories back in 2004 - at that time just in a non-web-based print form. The mind truly boggles.

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