Feeds

Tom Jones and Monty Python join 419ers

Lads from Lagos in recruitment blinder

Boost IT visibility and business value

We all know that, as the song goes, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone", but what is unusual is that gusset-moistening Home Counties fave Tom Jones should apparently choose to do business with the Lads from Lagos, in the process enlisting the help of one of the Monty Python team:

Subject: Your Urgent Attention Needed From Tom Jones in U.K

Dear Friend,

In appreciation of your esteemed contact received through the internet and the choice of your country. I wish to introduce myself. My name is Tom Jones, the son of Mr. Terry Jones of Zimbabwe. During the current crisis against the farmers of Zimbabwe by the supporters of our President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white owned farms in our country, he ordered all the white farmers to surrender their farms to his party members and their followers. You can view website to see the kind of brutal and wicked government we have in Zimbabwe:

http://www.rte.ie/news/2000/0418/zimbabwe.html

My Father was one of the best farmers in the country and knowing that he did not support the President political ideology, the president supporters invaded my father's farm and burnt down everything, killed him and confiscated all his investments. Before this unpleasant incident, my father and Barr.Kelvin,our family lawyer, had already visited Holland in Europe, to deposit the sum of thirteen Million,five hundred thousand US Dollars (US$13.5million) in a a safe security company vault in Holland, and also he deposited the sum of Fifteen million U.S Dollars ($15,000,000.00) in a safe financial institution in London...

After the bloody incident, we all had to escape to London for the safety of our lives. Where we have been living since then as political refugee. I am seeking for a reliable foreigner who can assist us in moving this funds out for safe profitable investment in your country...

<cut>

Your help will be appreciated with 30% of the total fund, And 70% will be for my family. We will be happy if you will be able to invest our share in your country,under your supervision. I would appreciate confidentiality and honesty in our correspondence.

Your immediate response will be highly welcome, I hope to hear from you soon.

Pls kindly contact me on Email Privately: tomjones_213@sify.com

May God bless you and your family.
Tom Jones
For the family.

Lovely. Readers are invited to supply the appropriate Monty Python quote for this entertaining version of the "Zimbabwean farmer tale of woe" 419 email. Please forward all suggestions to Tom Jones on the above email addy. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Best practices for enterprise data
Discussing how technology providers have innovated in order to solve new challenges, creating a new framework for enterprise data.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?