Feeds

Nutt plots downfall of booze

No, no, thrice NO!

New hybrid storage solutions

Sinister moves are afoot to replace old faithful ethanol with a cocktail of drugs engineered to mimic its effects. Bristol professor David Nutt reckons chemicals called partial agonists offer a turn off the Yellow Puke Road and into beerless drugtopia.

He claims: “The benefits to society could be so profound.”

The technology, mooted in The Journal of Psychopharmacology, hijacks receptors in the brain called GABA-As. These signallers are associated with the positive effects of drink like confidence, openness and inflated sense of one's own attractiveness. Some of the many subtypes are responsible for less desirable behaviours; falling over, aggression, karaoke.

Nutt's plan is to target only the benefits with a potent mix of partial agonists that wouldn't press the negative buttons. What's more, the drunkard's compulsory attempt at sobering up by chomping spoonfuls of dry Gold Blend would be replaced by a hit of an instant antidote drug called flumazenil.

While liver failure admissions to casualty would doubtless plummet, surely such a endless, risk free intoxication is the greatest threat to civilisation since bird flu. Drugged-up worker's productivity would crash, roads would be chaos, gangs of jobless landlords would maraud through Britain's fine market towns.

Perhaps more importantly, the universal Yin Yang of pleasure pain would be subverted if a night on the tiles wasn't followed by a morning on the toilet.®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Thought that last dinosaur was BIG? This one's bloody ENORMOUS
Weighed several adult elephants, contend boffins
Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around
Surprises at the nano-scale mean our ideas about how they charge could be all wrong
Chelyabinsk-sized SURPRISE asteroid to skim Earth, satnav birds
Space rock appears out of nowhere, buzzes planet on Sunday
City hidden beneath England's Stonehenge had HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub
Boozed-up ancients drank beer before tearing corpses apart
'Duck face' selfie in SPAAAACE: Rosetta's snap with bird comet
Probe prepares to make first landing on fast-moving rock
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.