Feeds

Granny floors intruder with TV karate moves

Battling Romanian septuagenarian

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

We've said it before and we'll say it again: what on Earth is happening to the world's pensioners? Time was, your dear old grandpa would be sitting in a fireside chair, dispensing wisdom and Werther's Originals in equal measure while wrapped in a tartan travelling rug, faithful Labrador asleep at his beslippered feet.

Not any more. Regular readers will recall the recent cases of the 75-year-old Russian who stumbled onto the set of a porn flick and quickly shot his way to screen rumpy-pumpy superstardom, and the "72-year old cross-dresser... charged with public indecency after being caught pleasuring himself in a library".

And let's not forget the the 70-year-old Italian strumpet caught trying to have sex with a 59-year-old car driver while he negotiated a Milanese highway.

Over in Lithuania, meanwhile, battling old timers prefer to burn off their excess energy by giving burglars' testicles a good seeing to - and we don't mean in the prosecution of a blue rinse smut flick, either.

Ditto Romania, where a 75-year-old woman recently floored an intruder with some sharp karate moves she picked up on a TV self defence show.

According to Ananova, Anica D from the village of Popeni in Vaslui county woke up to find her self being assaulted by the night-time ne'er-do-well. She shouted for help, but none was forthcoming.

Accordingly, she "immobilised" the assailant and then called in the authorities, Romanian paper Ziarul reports.

The 30 year old miscreant has been charged with burglary and attempted rape, although it's clear he can count himself lucky to escape with his vitals intact. ®

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable
Learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.