Feeds

Gmail in emergency lightning response shocker

'To hear a list of terrorist organisations, press 1...'

Security for virtualized datacentres

We can all sleep sounder in our beds, safe in the knowledge that Gmail will - if required - move with panther-like speed to tackle any possible threat to national security.

The proof? We've just had a gem from an anonymous Gmail user who was "trying to contact Gmail regarding fraud" only to get bogged down in a "nightmare of switch boards and receptionists unwilling to help".

In the process, however, he stumbled across "Google's fantastic automated messages at +1 650 253 3422". In the "requiring access to a Gmail account that is not yours" bit, he was informed: "If it is an emergency and you require the intervention of law enforcement, including bomb threats and suicide attempts, you simply have to report through the normal security form with the words 'URGENT' in it."

And the response to such a vital missive? As our correspondent puts it: "Well it's now the next day after my urgent request went through...I'm sure several buildings have been blown up by suicidally depressed people in the meantime..."

Quite so. Simpsons fans will be reminded of the episode where Bart is trying to urgently contact Springfield police department by phone, and is asked by a pre-recorded message to select the crime in question. He hits a few random numbers and gets: "You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one..." ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.