Feeds

Sobbing Intel techie recounts China brothel ordeal

Stranded in oriental hell-hole

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

A tearful Intel engineer has recounted how a simple trip to China to check in on a few of the chip monolith's business partners ended in a unscheduled stop in the remote city of Taiyuan during which he suffered pretty well every ignominy the locals could heap on the hapless foreign devil.

The ordeal began when, as AP reports, Eugene Nelson of Intel's facility in DuPont, WA, realised his scheduled flight from Hong Kong to Taiwan had taken much longer than it should. A quick check of the flight path on the video screen revealed the horrifying truth: he wasn't about to hit the tarmac in Taipei, but rather the aforementioned "industrial centre deep within China".

Nelson later confessed: "Oh my God, it felt like someone poured a bucket of hot water on me. I realised I was literally 200 miles south of the Mongolian border. That's when dread just came over me. I don't know how else to explain it."

Nelson's dread was not unfounded. He spent his first night in Taiyuan trying to find a bed - a process not aided by his lack of Chinese. He quickly found himself in what turned out to be a local knocking shop, and was obliged to "damn near fight my way out".

Returning to the airport, officials declined his request to get his head down inside, but mercifully, he hooked up with a local girl who spoke some English and "arranged for friends to loan the obviously distressed American money and give him a safe ride to a hotel". Nelson admitted: "She probably saved my fricking life."

Nelson now faced several days on the mean streets of Taiyuan - during which he was injured avoiding a homicidal local car driver and spat upon by welcoming locals - trying to find a bank which would accept the Amex wire transfer, arranged by his Stateside missus, and on which his escape from the oriental hell-hole depended.

After "nearly endless hours" of searching, Nelson located a bank which would let him collect the cash - but not before he could "get his account information translated into Mandarin so that he could access the money". This process mercifully took just a finite number of hours, after which Nelson could run screaming onto a flight to liberty.

After travelling through Beijing to Vancouver, British Columbia, and eventually to Sea-Tac, Nelson was reunited with his wife Michelle Chewerda, and his three kids. It was, according to AP, an emotional homecoming.

And regarding those citizens of Taiyuan who had not attempted to run him over, spit on him or attempt to extract cash in return for sexual favours, Nelson said: "Honestly, everyone who helped me, I'll never forget them." ®

Bootnote

For the record, Nelson said goodbye to his new-found Chinese chums at Taiyuan airport before boarding his outbound flight - and repaid all the cash they'd lent him. Good show.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.