Feeds

El Reg can make you famous: here's how

A satisfied customer writes

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Unsolicited product endorsement Any reader who doubts the ability of the mighty Reg to influence world events - from bringing down eBay auctions to provoking thunderstorms and the curdling of milk - would do well to digest the following from one Clive Worth: a serial-shagging former miner who was in 2004 dumped from a dating agency after bedding 100 lonely hearts. Read on...

On the 12th of Nov 2004, you run a story about me getting kicked off a dating site, you branded me as a Rat, i was shocked but then i became more shocked to find that more women wanted to meet me than ever, it seems that women love a Rat as most of these women i meet use men anyway, then you will understand why i have so many dates, as many as 420 now.

I was then even more shocked to find my phone my phone did not stop ringing with more Reporters, TV and Radio stations form all over the world, Australia, New Zealand and Canada, all wanting to interview me, i have since been out in 7 National Magazines, also on BBC, Channel 5 and 4 as well as S4C in Welsh + Sunday Mirror few weeks ago, the Sun has also got a nice big story of me, that they will soon run!

So you have made a me a big star and 16 months on i am still in big demand and tomorrow night on Channel 4 at 1,30am, i am to star again in a Documentary called the Studs of Suburbia, so i would like you to let everyone know this by publishing it in your paper tomorrow, now i am where i am because of you, so i am sure this will be in your interest as well, then you can count on me for more interesting stories as my popularity grows, then i will not forget that it was you who made all this happen for me and will always be ready to give you more stories of me, Clive.

And there you have it. Do you desire international fame and the attentions of hundreds of members of the opposite sex? Our rates are available on request: please mark the subject of your emails "Fame and Sex and plenty of both please". ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.