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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Unsolicited product endorsement Any reader who doubts the ability of the mighty Reg to influence world events - from bringing down eBay auctions to provoking thunderstorms and the curdling of milk - would do well to digest the following from one Clive Worth: a serial-shagging former miner who was in 2004 dumped from a dating agency after bedding 100 lonely hearts. Read on...

On the 12th of Nov 2004, you run a story about me getting kicked off a dating site, you branded me as a Rat, i was shocked but then i became more shocked to find that more women wanted to meet me than ever, it seems that women love a Rat as most of these women i meet use men anyway, then you will understand why i have so many dates, as many as 420 now.

I was then even more shocked to find my phone my phone did not stop ringing with more Reporters, TV and Radio stations form all over the world, Australia, New Zealand and Canada, all wanting to interview me, i have since been out in 7 National Magazines, also on BBC, Channel 5 and 4 as well as S4C in Welsh + Sunday Mirror few weeks ago, the Sun has also got a nice big story of me, that they will soon run!

So you have made a me a big star and 16 months on i am still in big demand and tomorrow night on Channel 4 at 1,30am, i am to star again in a Documentary called the Studs of Suburbia, so i would like you to let everyone know this by publishing it in your paper tomorrow, now i am where i am because of you, so i am sure this will be in your interest as well, then you can count on me for more interesting stories as my popularity grows, then i will not forget that it was you who made all this happen for me and will always be ready to give you more stories of me, Clive.

And there you have it. Do you desire international fame and the attentions of hundreds of members of the opposite sex? Our rates are available on request: please mark the subject of your emails "Fame and Sex and plenty of both please". ®

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