Feeds

Software developer boxes pirate senseless

Rough justice, Russian style

Security for virtualized datacentres

We like the way they do business down at Cognitive Technologies - and if the company's method of dealing with pirates is anything to go by, then its staff are not be be trifled with.

Just ask the unnamed Russian dealer who got caught selling unlicensed copies of Cognitive software off a market stall. Confronted by the company's software department supremo, Andrei Smirnov, the chap rather foolishly decided to indulge in a bit of fisticuffs, Mosnews reports.

This initial fracas was broken up by a security guard. The dealer then offered to continue the brawl in the street. Smirnov declined, suggesting instead the matter be settled in a local fitness centre's boxing ring.

The result? A 24-16 win for Cognitive over three, three-minute rounds.

Simple as that. We can think of a few other disputes which could be resolved in this very civilised fashion. The EU versus Microsoft immediately springs to mind, although it would be a bit more like WWF than Queensbury Rules - what with a quivering EC commissioner armed with nothing more than righteous indignation being battered with a chair by Steve Ballmer while little old ladies jump into the ring to beat the MS man with their handbags. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.