Feeds

Software developer boxes pirate senseless

Rough justice, Russian style

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

We like the way they do business down at Cognitive Technologies - and if the company's method of dealing with pirates is anything to go by, then its staff are not be be trifled with.

Just ask the unnamed Russian dealer who got caught selling unlicensed copies of Cognitive software off a market stall. Confronted by the company's software department supremo, Andrei Smirnov, the chap rather foolishly decided to indulge in a bit of fisticuffs, Mosnews reports.

This initial fracas was broken up by a security guard. The dealer then offered to continue the brawl in the street. Smirnov declined, suggesting instead the matter be settled in a local fitness centre's boxing ring.

The result? A 24-16 win for Cognitive over three, three-minute rounds.

Simple as that. We can think of a few other disputes which could be resolved in this very civilised fashion. The EU versus Microsoft immediately springs to mind, although it would be a bit more like WWF than Queensbury Rules - what with a quivering EC commissioner armed with nothing more than righteous indignation being battered with a chair by Steve Ballmer while little old ladies jump into the ring to beat the MS man with their handbags. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her
Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.