Feeds

UK peerage for sale on eBay

Enter the House of Lords for £1.5m

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

In light of the Lord Chancellor's recent announcement that all loans to the Labour Party will soon have to be declared and will be capped at £500k, this may be your last chance to gain that well-deserved peerage by the back door and with no questions asked: a seat in the House of Lords for a modest £1.5m.

A UK peerage: yours for £1.5m

Here's the accompanying blurb:

Not getting enough sleep?

Feel you're being unfairly passed over by the government for all that money you've given to their party?

Feel you're not quite snooty enough yet?

Own a chain of corner shops and want your own coat of arms?

You too can now purchase a peerage and become a lifetime member of the House of Lords - The most exclusive private members club in the land.

It's not a purchase, it's an investment!

Watch as business is put your way by your fellow members in true masonic style... Steel Magnates and Supermarket owners should not miss out on this perfect oppurtunity.

So place a bid to become a parliamentarian, without the need for those pesky elections - YOU'LL EVEN GET EXPENSES!

These people are a barrel of fun, we even quoted my mate Archer as saying "go for it, it'd be a crime not to"

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want your money back.

Nicely done. Corner shop owners note you have just four days left to avail yourself of this once-in-a-lifetime offer. Get to it. ®

Bootnote

Since we were fully aware eBay would pull this auction within a couple of minutes of us running the story, we rang Tony Blair's office beforehand to offer him our famous "eBay auction killing service". Unsurprisingly, given the stick he's taking over cash for coronets at the moment, he jumped at the chance. We declined payment, however. Suffice it to say, I should now be addressed as "Lord Haines of Hammersmith Broadway".

Thanks to Tim Maidment for the tip-off.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.