We were shocked this morning to learn that the DEA is hunting Larry Ellison on a distribution of cocaine rap.

The Ellison in question is a 6'1", 235lb black man, last seen in Philly. We were aware that plastic surgeons can work miracles, but this transformation is nothing short of astounding.

So, keep your eyes peeled and be aware that if you do spot this dangerous fugitive from justice:

• Do not attempt to apprehend this individual.
• Call the US Marshals Service 24-hour number 1-877-WANTED2 (1-877-926-8332) or the nearest DEA office with information.
• Rewards are available at the discretion of the US Marshals Service.

Sound advice. This man may be armed, and is most certainly dangerous. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Knibb for alerting us to one of America's Most Wanted.