Feeds

DEA dragnet hunts fugitive Larry Ellison

Distribution of cocaine rap shocker

Security for virtualized datacentres

We were shocked this morning to learn that the DEA is hunting Larry Ellison on a distribution of cocaine rap.

The Ellison in question is a 6'1", 235lb black man, last seen in Philly. We were aware that plastic surgeons can work miracles, but this transformation is nothing short of astounding.

So, keep your eyes peeled and be aware that if you do spot this dangerous fugitive from justice:

  • Do not attempt to apprehend this individual.
  • Call the US Marshals Service 24-hour number 1-877-WANTED2 (1-877-926-8332) or the nearest DEA office with information.
  • Rewards are available at the discretion of the US Marshals Service.

Sound advice. This man may be armed, and is most certainly dangerous. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Knibb for alerting us to one of America's Most Wanted.

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.