Feeds

419er mugged by rubbers

Elastic human tragedy, send cash ASAP

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

Here's a refreshing new angle on the 419 advance fee fraud email: a "show me the money" variant which takes our beloved English language round the back of the bike sheds and gives it a right shoeing. Enjoy:

The compliment of the day, How are doing an also running of your company, hopping all is wall. I received you mail that day about my application for job at weybrige, you know, I am a Nigerian, so it has been long I started planning on how to travel to that side, over 7 year ago, I think that every thing is trying to come to manifestation, that is why I apply for Job. Well thanks for bringing out your time to fine a very good work for me because I have gone through those once I fill is ok to me.

With respect and humility I wish to apple for help, (why) on Monday been 5th march, I want to bank and collect all I have their, to go and paid for a flight at Abuja, Nigeria, unfortunately I was attack by am rubbers so the synch away that money from me.

Since then I do not know what to do, well this early morning I decided to write for appreciation of what you did to me an also apple for help in any way.

I donâ₠™t know how to contact you, if you can send me some amount it may be through my account number (0882120078895) Bank Name:
United Bank of Affirica (U B A)
Aba Branch, Abia State, Nigeria.

If you do so God will bless you, because I am stranded. you can send me a mail through my address papamicky2002@yahoo.com or call my number 08063697842 (Nigeria cod 234).

Thanks. for your coppretion.

Magnificent. Quite what "coppretion" is we know not. Regarding the truly terrifying ordeal at the bank, we're sure our US readers will get even more enjoyment than we did from the concept of our Lad from Lagos having his money synched away from him by rubbers. The mind boggles.

Bootnote

Thanks to Thomas Fynes for spotting this lovely example of the genre.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.