Feeds

Psst, want to be on Dr Who?

And the best of this weekend's telly

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Geek TV Certified gadget obsessives Tech Digest and Shiny Shiny scour Gizmoville for the oddest digital goodies, TV Scoop features all that’s cool in British telly and Games Digest has all the latest gaming news.

LG 100inch LCD

It won't have escaped your notice that it's CeBIT time, and all manner of competitive pimping is going on in the world of very big tellies. First to the plate was Samsung, with an 82in backlit behemoth, but LG shoved its way in front with its 100in LCD leviathan boasting a 3,000:1 contrast ratio and 180 degree viewing angle.

Very nice, chaps. But even the biggest telly in the world can't make the BBC give us a starting date for the new Doctor Who. It seems the Beebmeisters are too busy fielding "Dear Jim" letters from famous people who want to be in an episode. Latest addition is Peter Kay, who'll star as dastardly Victor Kennedy in episode 10 after writing a bot-kissing letter to Russell T Davies. The new series also features Anthony Head, Maureen Lipman and Roger Lloyd-Pack. And some geezer called David Tennant.

Another chancer with an upcoming star role is DJ Daz, minor internet celebrity and now the man most likely to come in the bottom five of Eurovision. Last weekend's Making Your Mind Up might have been a TV programme, or it might have been an acid trip I once had. Wogan was Terrytastic, Kaplinksy wore a Rimmel factory on her face, and the audience wore big muscles and sleeveless T-shirts. Online crusader Daz couldn't lose, given that every hardcore reality TV phone-voter was watching Dancing On Ice (DJ Daz's website genuinely begins: "Booyakaa... aiight!").

Daz was probably too bladdered to stay up for the Oscars, but Jon Stewart's hosting debut was well worth the lost sleep. He got mixed reviews, but this viewer reckons he pulled it off - and stayed true to his Daily Show tone. Introducing rapper Ludacris, Stewart deadpanned: "Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest is a musician. You don't know him. Go upstairs, where your children are illegally downloading music. Ask them to explain."

Finally, download of the week is this Sky advert for The Simpsons. Best idea Mr Murdoch's had in years.

Five to watch this week:

Best of The Muppets, Sat 11 March, ITV1, 7pm
Did you know that Muppets writer and The Thick of It star Chris Langham guest-starred as a last-minute replacement for Richard Pryor in 1981?

Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!, Mon 13 March, BBC4, 9pm
In which Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in 2005's The Deal, gets skeletal and flares his nostrils to play Carry On's troubled nutter.

Beauty and the Geek, Tue 14 March, E4, 10pm
Last in the series. We chew our knuckles in anticipation.

Ideal, Tue 14 March, BBC3, 10.30pm
Johnny Vegas is back for another go as Moz the dope dealer. Sadly Moz's cat, Mrs Slocombe, has been fired for disobedience on set.

The Apprentice, Weds 15 March, BBC2, 9pm
Best thing on the telly at the moment, with Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares snapping at its heels. This week, the teams set up theme restaurants. Both team leaders are management consultants. I think you know what's coming next.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.