Feeds

Frankenstein weed threatens children and OAPs

Hippies may already be addicted to pharm crops

High performance access to file storage

Frankenstein crops laden with drugs have infected wild plants around the world after their escape from the GM laboratories and field trials where scientists promised they would be kept safe.

Parents might want to keep their children from playing in green spaces after a series of revelations published by Greenpeace and GeneWatch UK today that describe the infiltration of natural plant species by Frankenstein genes.

Crops genetically engineered to carry drugs in their stems have infected other plants with their horrifying payload, said the green campaigners, whose latest study shows that Frankenstein crops are spreading more rapidly than they had feared, through illegal planting and corporate cover-ups of infections.

Whatever next? It can surely only be a matter of time before these revelations provoke rants about GM corporations deliberately infecting the conventional food chain with crops laced with addictive drugs.

The extent of the danger became apparent when an El Reg reporter discovered during a GM-induced shamanistic reverie a commune of hippy travellers living in a field infected by drug-laden Frankenstein crops. Police forcibly removed them but let them return when the extent of their addiction became apparent.

We ran the news by a bloke we met in a pub, who claimed an interest in science.

As GM infections of conventional crops increased, he said, it heightened the chance that a genetic mutation could spread from GM monster weeds to humans.

"The result could be even more horrifying than Day of the Triffids. Crossing plant and human genes won't just give you carnivorous plants, our civilisation could be undermined by a generation of kids with pea brains and wheat hearts," he said.

"And we should not underestimate the sort of havoc rye humours could wreak on our society," he said. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?
Recruiting now for charity starvation diet
Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco
Standing in the corner, big pointy 'D' hats
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning
Power levels up 70 per cent as the rover keeps on truckin'
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
Top Secret US payload launched into space successfully
Clandestine NRO spacecraft sets off on its unknown mission
New FEMTO-MOON sighted BIRTHING from Saturn's RING
Icy 'Peggy' looks to be leaving the outer rings
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.