Feeds

Couple microwave urine-filled fake penis

Attempted drugs test fraud ends in court

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

Here's a cautionary tale if you're a woman planning to use a fake penis filled with someone else's urine to pass a drugs test as part of a job application: don't take it to the local convenience store and ask the clerk to microwave it "so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test".

So now you know, thanks to Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, and Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, who were cited last Friday for "criminal mischief and disorderly conduct in the 23 February incident at the Get Go! gasoline and convenience store in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh", the Washington Post reports.

According to the quite remarkable account of the attempted fraud, Police Chief Joseph Pero explained that, "Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job".

Police aren't exactly sure "why or how Creighton chose to use a device that mimics the male sex organ to pass her drug test", but are pretty certain that the attempted member-warming rendered the microwave subsequently unusable because it "couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it".

Hence the criminal mischief charge - based on a "criminal intent to damage the microwave" - of which defense attorney William Difenderfer said his clients had no such intent and were prepared to reimburse the store for the loss of the machine.

Difenderfer said: "I certainly understand the ramifications and I'm certainly not saying it wasn't a stupid thing to do. But there's a lot of bizarre stuff that we don't always have a remedy for in the crimes code."

If convicted, the pair face up to 90 days' chockey and a $300 maximum fine on each charge. The Washington Post is rather disappointingly unable to clarify "what kind of job the woman applied for, or whether she was hired". ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.