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I can't use an iPod, admits Blair

Would you trust this man?

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Simple question: would you allow a man who by his own admission cannot use an iPod to:

  1. Sell you a used car?
  2. Marry your daughter?
  3. Run the country?

No, of course you wouldn't. Which is why we report with an icy chill of fear in our hearts that none other that UK President Tony "God will judge me" Blair revealed this shocking fact in an TV interview last Saturday with grannies' fave Michael Parkinson.

The reason for the new nickname, btw, is that much of the discourse concerned Our Tone's much-heralded Catholic faith. In fact, The Guardian reports that Blair is "reconciled to the prospect that God and history will eventually judge his decision to go to war with Iraq, and says his decision, like much of his policy making, was underpinned by his Christian faith".

Mercifully, Tony stopped short of saying "God told me to do it" - as did his fellow crusader George Bush - but did go on to freely admit that although he has an iPod, "he is not always in control of it".

Said Blair: "My daughter [Kathryn] does all the songs, I'm not very good with the technology, I'm not very good with any aspect of it."

And now for the real revelation: the PM's playlist was not revealed except for one, telling, insight - it contains Christina Aguilera. We rest our case. ®

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