Oscars in HD?
Maybe next year...
Geek TV And the Oscar for best HD movie line-up goes to... Sky, which has now secured a batch of Disney films to add to its various HD channels. But you know how Oscar-winning movies often aren't out in the UK for ages after the red carpet has been mothballed? Well, in tribute to the Oscars, Sky is making us wait before we can see the films as the gods of HDTV intended. And wait.
But don't fret over the delay in Sky's HD service launch. Instead, pass the time with another new movie channel, Eat Cinema. The 24/7 channel launched last Monday with a line-up including film news and plenty of T4-flavoured Hollywood gossip. It's no coincidence that the channel launched just in time for the Oscars, which you can watch all night on Sunday on our old friend Sky Movies. If you fancy placing a bet or five, ValueChecker has all the latest odds, including 1/2 on for King Kong to win for the visual FX.
Meanwhile, back in reality land, the past week has been the best of times and the worst of times. The Apprentice continues to delight, but BBC1's Just the Two of Us should be hauled up before Sour Sugar and given a sound firing. Police drummer Stewart Copeland - yes, he's got a gig as a judge on a minor-celebrity singing competition - has aged into the uncanny spawn of Hugh Laurie and Beaker from The Muppet Show. And Lulu needs to be drowned in a sack.
I don't want to end on a downer, so here's some good news: The IT Crowd and Peep Show have both been recommissioned. Yep, all that scaremongering was a pile of nonsense, probably put about by C4 to make us buy DVDs and set up Save Peep Show/Save Moss petitions.
Five things to watch this week
The IT Crowd, Friday 3 March, C4, 9.30pm
Last visit to the IT basement for the time being sees Jen getting her "time of the month", with terrifying consequences for Moss.
Planet Earth, Sunday 5 March, BBC1, 10pm
The Attenborough is back in the biggest-ever series from the Beeb's Natural History Unit. The first episode of "awe-inspiring landscapes and rarely-spotted creatures" sees Dave in the Arctic. Bears! Wolverines! Looks a bit chilly!
The Oscars, Sunday 5 March, Sky Movies 1, 12.05am (Monday)
That time of year again. You'd never have guessed.
Comedy Connections, Monday 6 March, BBC1, 10.35pm
Fab series is back with a brief history of The Fast Show, best TV sketch show of all time. Excited to the point of dampness.
Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, Thursday 9 March, BBC4, 10.30pm
TV version of the weekly telly column by Guardian smartass and Nathan Barley creator, Charlie Brooker.
Sponsored: The Nuts and Bolts of Ransomware in 2016