Feeds

Schizophrenic 419er moves to Isle of Wight

As you do

Build a business case: developing custom apps

We're not entirely sure what exactly the Isle of Wight has done to merit a visit from the Lads from Lagos, but locals should be aware that the Newport correspondent of the Advance Fee Fraud Times may be suffering from a multiple personality disorder:

vicent woods
Associates and solicitor
St. Cross Lane
Newport
Isle of Wight
PO30 5BZ
Email:stvnwright@gmail.com

Attn:

I do foresee the surprise this letter will bring to you as it comes from a stranger, but be assured that it comes with the best of intentions.

I got your contact from a search into the Internet and was inspired to seek your cooperation. I am aware of the risks involved in sending this letter by email, therefore I ask that you consider the factors below ad keep it strictly confidential. However, if you are unable to meet my demand, kindly discard of it.

I am Steven Wright, an attorney to Christian Eicht Mason. On the 25th of July 2000, my client, and his entire family died in the Air France Concorde plane crash heading for New York in their plan for a world cruise, visits the site below.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

My late client has a Trust account valued at $10.5 million dollars with a private bank in the UK. I have since been asked to provide his next of kin and sincerely I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives since he died with his family. With the bank giving me a deadline to the end of their organization?s financial year ending 31st March 2006 before they claim the deposit, I now desperately seek your consent to present you as the sole next of kin of the deceased, so that the entire funds can be paid to you either in cash or direct wire transfer and then you and I can share the money or put it in any profitable business.

I have all necessary information to prepare the relevant documentations that will be used to back up the Claim under a legitimate ground without violating any laws. All I require is your honest co-operation with a ready hand, focused mind and a sincere heart.

If you are interested please do contact me ASAP, so that I can educate you further for us to proceed swiftly.

I wait to hear from you ASAP.
Please reply to vicentwoods2000@gmail.com

Thanks,

vicentwoods.(Barrister)

Yes indeed, it's all pretty standard stuff, right down to the old "died in a plane crash" gag with the "it must be true because here it is on the Beeb" angle. This is, however, the first 419 email we've seen from a certifiable schizophrenic. These boys really should stick to using just one name per email - any more gives the distinct impression that this might be a less genuine offer than it otherwise appears.

Still, we like the bit about "ready hand, focused mind and a sincere heart". If that isn't from Henry V then it damn well should be, by the Lord Harry. ®

Bootnote

The usual big-up Abuja rispek to Steve Atty for forwarding this one.

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.