Sheet metal Messiah for sale on eBay

Steel simulacrum yours for $2k+

By Lester Haines • Get more from this author

Posted in Bootnotes, 28th February 2006 12:14 GMT

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We've had Jesus in a Romanian wardrobe door and Jesus in a Sussex hawthorn, but ye of little faith prepare to marvel at the ultimate Jesus simulacrum collectible: Jesus in a 22 gauge sheet of steel:

Praise be! Of course, we're sure some of you are as sceptical as we were when we read the accompanying blurb:

Image Of Jesus on Sheet Metal, unpacked right from the crate. Had to do a double take! Totally amazed several people. You can actually see an image of him with arms in the air or a frontal and a side image of him. Felt Chills When I Held It!!!!

Now, when I was a lad, epiphanies were generally highly mysterious affairs, appearing magically in shrouds and so forth. These days it appears they are delivered right to your door by UPS: "Hello mate, got a crate for Mr Shepherd. One inexplicable manifestation of divine being in sheet metal. Sign here, mate."

Still, they say that God moves in mysterious ways, and quite how the average courier company takes 13 days to deliver a small package 10 miles when a man with no legs and a nasty chest infection leading a blind donkey with arthritis could do it it in 10 is mystery enough for us.

But we digress. Those of you with scientific, enquiring minds will no doubt as we speak be closely scrutinising the photo of the metal Jesus to see just how much credence we can give to this miracle. Save yourselves the trouble: our image enhancement bureau has - using the very latest in photographic extrapolation alogorithm - teased out the breathtaking truth:

Enhanced: Sheet metal Messiah in all His glory