Feeds

Aping The Apprentice is the name of the game

The best and worst of this week's TV

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Geek TV Last week's favourite game among the suits who run Britain's telly channels was Pretend Your Show Is Doctor Who. This week, it's Pretend Your Show Is The Apprentice, as channel after channel pluck 'ordinary' folk off the streets and force them to jump through hoops to get gainful employment.

Five, the channel formerly known as Channel Five, wins hands down with its new extreme job hunt reality show Selling Yourself. You have to salute a programme that's so unoriginal it rips off not only The Apprentice but also Dragons' Den and even the guilty geek pleasure, Masterchef Goes Large. Selling Yourself apes Dragons' Den so closely, right down to the sour-faced bird on the panel, that it's like watching a French and Saunders spoof.

But there's something horribly compelling about seeing a non-entity with an interview technique straight out of Gareth Keenan's Book of Management Bollocks rewarded with... a job as an estate agent. Anyway, it's on on Tuesday at 8pm. Like Dragons' Den.

Incredible HulkMeanwhile, jolly angry green giant Lou Ferrigno, aka The Incredible Hulk you watched Saturday mornings when you were eight, is now a reserve Deputy Sheriff in Los Angeles. Presumably the Governator wants to surround himself with cops who look exactly like him: sort of like an army of massive, rippled Oompa Loompas.

And so to another butch TV icon: Bully. Bullseye is now definitely coming back, though Jim Bowen isn't. Bookies' favourite replacement is Peter Kay, followed by Michael Barrymore and Al Murray. Sky Bet is also offering odds on Justin 'The Darkness' Hawkins at 25/1, Liz Hurley at 150/1 and John Leslie at a surely mistaken 10/1.

Finally, good news for anyone who can't bear to leave the computer for long enough to watch TV: HDTV UK has a guide to getting HD pictures on your PC. More fabulous still, it's got a round-up of websites offering HD content. Top recommendation is Apple's QuickTime site, whose BBC and IMAX clips will stun and wow you, but only if your broadband connection is 2Mbps or higher.

What to watch this week

BAFTA Film Awards, Sunday, BBC1, 9pm
Make do with this until the Oscars in a couple of weeks. Stephen Fry, Constant Gardener, Brokeback Mountain, blah, blah.

The South Bank Show: Manga Mania, Sunday, ITV1, 11.10pm
L'Oreal man Melvyn talks to manga godfather Hayao Miyazaki and Gorillaz' dad Jamie Hewlett.

The Apprentice, Wednesday, BBC2, 9pm
In which Siralan selects a new employee from 14 contestants who include (fact!) Matt Lucas' cousin and a former Millwall footballer.

Action, Wednesday, ITV4, 10pm
"Another chance to see" Jay Mohr's superb Hollywood satire. DO NOT MISS.

Just The Two of Us, Thursday, BBC1, 8pm
In the fine tradition of noughties telly, this one's a cut'n'shut job of loads of other programmes: Strictly Come Dancing plus Soapstar Superstar plus I Love The 80s plus The X Factor. WARNING: contains Curtis Stigers.

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Half a BILLION in the making: Bungie's Destiny reviewed
It feels very familiar - but it's still good
Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT
Let's >sigh< see what Cupertino has been up to for the past year
Huawei ditches new Windows Phone mobe plans, blames poor sales
Giganto mobe firm slams door shut on Microsoft. OH DEAR
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Get your Indian Landfill Android One handsets - they're only SIXTY QUID
Cheap and deafening mobes for the subcontinental masses
Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch
Sizes, prices and all – but not for the wrist-o-puter
DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster
4 Minute Mile project hatched to speed up tired troops
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.