A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse was today hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.

The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - was one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings. She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.

Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:

Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.

Mrs Jennings was neither present nor represented at the proceedings. She was, a spokeswoman for the Nursing and Midwifery Council has confirmed by email, struck off the nursing register earlier today. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Gemma Turtle for the heads-up on this one. The trout, btw, was one of several brought to the hospital as a gift by a thoughtful patient. The Health and Safety Executive would have a fit.

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