Feeds

Nurse attacks colleague with frozen fish

A trout, if you must know

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse was today hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.

The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - was one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings. She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.

All the incidents took place during 2003 at the Kent and Sussex Hospital in Tunbridge Wells.

Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:

Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.

Mrs Jennings was neither present nor represented at the proceedings. She was, a spokeswoman for the Nursing and Midwifery Council has confirmed by email, struck off the nursing register earlier today. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Gemma Turtle for the heads-up on this one. The trout, btw, was one of several brought to the hospital as a gift by a thoughtful patient. The Health and Safety Executive would have a fit.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.