Feeds

Christians turn on to nipple dust and vibros

New online shop for horny believers

3 Big data security analytics techniques

Some enterprising Christians have plugged a gap in the burgeoning online sex emporium market by opening a shop for those whose love of the Lord is matched by their love of rumpy-pumpy.

Yes indeed, the Wholly Love blurb declares: "Sex is a great gift from God – we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse!"

According to Church Times, Wholly Love is the brainchild of Stan and Stella Hagarty - a "happily married young couple with three children" who reckon "Christians needed to be positive about sex and its place in marriage". Mrs Hagarty added: "We are constantly told as Christians what we can’t do, but there is little promotion of what we can."

What you can do down at Wholly Love is stock up on Pure Arousal Super Stretch Rings, Colour Me Sexy Crayons and Silver Clitoral Charms. What you can't buy are handcuffs and butt plugs because, as Mrs Hargarty explained, the site "doesn't stock anything to do with pornography or nudity, nor does it sell sado-masochistic or anal items".

So, it's a quick rousing chorus of "What a friend we have in Jesus" round the piano, then on with the Valentine Hearts bra and brief set and out with the Snail Trail Vibrating Tickler. Praise be. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Record labels sue Pandora over vintage song royalties
Companies want payout on recordings made before 1972
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Number crunching suggests Yahoo! US is worth less than nothing
China and Japan holdings worth more than entire company
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.