Feeds

Qinetiq named as nation mourns end of whale's flotation

Boffins, RN deny 'friendly-fire' depth-charging

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Fate can be a dreadful thing. Gravy train... er, defence contractor Qinetiq is poised to float with uncountable squillions expected for all concerned, and - purely coincidentally - the marketing bunnies have been busy over the past year or twain enhancing the outfit's imagery as a purveyor of shiny high tech Q-type secret weaponry. But now - argh! - could it be planet-despoiling wildlife-terminating whale depth-charging Q-type weaponry?

And if the late Thames Whale was indeed depth-charged, then legal experts reckon that it was the Queen's whale at time of depth-charging. Cripes...

According to today's Times, sonar and "military explosions" may be to blame for disorientating London's best-loved marine mammal. Sonar (usually, the US Navy's sonar) is frequently accused of responsibility for whale beachings, so it's by no means unusual that it should figure in the nation's agonised inquest. But as culprits, "military explosions" are less usual.

The Times claims Kent coast residents and marine scientists have suggested that the whale could have been confused by "huge explosions" from a Qinetiq operated MoD site at Shoeburyness range last week. "On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday last week, it was like being in the middle of a war zone," said Herne Bay resident Tony Wilkinson, 65. And he's not even a whale.

And if the whale was the subject of military action, then it seems probable that this was a 'friendly fire' incident. The Guardian''s redoubtable legal correspondent Marcel Berlins tells us that live whales, under a statute of 1324, are classed as 'fishes royal', so are the Queen's property, if not quite family. Dead whales, Berlins continues, are the property of the Receiver of Wrecks, and this not being the usual protocol followed for royal funerals, we feel sure that the whale wasn't family.

Any explosions at Shoeburyness could not possibly have affected the whale, said a Qinetiq spokeswoman, describing the claims as "opportunistic" (much like this story, indeed). The Royal Navy also appears to be denying responsibility. Nevertheless, there should surely be a finquest. ®

* A public-spirited well wisher draws our attention to British Divers Marine Life Rescue (BDMLR), which didn't quite succeed in saving the whale, but which did incur substantial costs, including a £300 parking fine, while trying. BDMLR is trying to recoup costs by auctioning the watering can used to douse the whale on eBay. The link above or an eBay search for "whale watering can" should see you alright. At least it's not the water...

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.